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Nevermore (by: eddy styx) senryu string of five
Senryu String: Nevermore (by: eddy styx)
angelic face, love
ever my focus flower
dreaming in your arms
in awe cannot speak
my head full of your essence
precious beyond stars
inspired loving
gracing me in ecstasy
never another
fleetingly time flown
over many lives and moons
in death gone to sky
labor beyond love
hoping to capture her poise
angel hosts give voice
Review Request (Intensity):
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Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Geezer
Fri, 2022-06-17 08:48
This is...
very well done! You have not missed a beat!
"in awe cannot speak
my head full of your presence
precious beyond stars"
Your love speaks for itself! She is such a lucky woman!
~ Geez.
.
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Candlewitch
Fri, 2022-06-17 10:46
hey Geezer,
thank you for reading and commenting. I have to admit, I learned a bit from (the) cat! have a grand day and night!
ever, eddy
*hugs, Cat
*
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Seren
Mon, 2023-02-13 08:19
Dearest Sis
Wow this is magnificent, truly its beyond beautiful.
in awe cannot speak
my head full of your essence
precious beyond stars
That's just superb writing.
((((BRAVA)))) yes I yelled that lol
all my love Sis xox
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
Candlewitch
Mon, 2023-02-13 12:02
dear Sis,
you make me feel like a bard, and not just a poet, you are something incredible!
thank you for loving me! Sis
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
RoseBlack
Mon, 2023-02-13 11:50
This was wonderful
Delicate, well written and you could feel the love in every line. Great job
~RoseBlack~
Candlewitch
Mon, 2023-02-13 12:06
thank you, Carrie,
I love Senryu & haiku! but I more often find my voice in Senryu. I can't wait to read your next poem, no matter what the style!
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.