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Mother

I watched as you sleep
on the old bed,
seeing your skin bears
the lines of age...

Your love have lit my life,
guiding me to be
the man I am
meant to be

Each time I fall
you were there.
You lift me up
because you care

When I was unwell,
you used to cradle me.
In your strong arms,
I could hear,
you pray for me

Now you are old and feeble,
unable to move freely.
Your bones always ache
when the weather gets ugly

Now it is my turn, Mother
to look after you,
to be your supporting pillar
and show my love for you

Dearest mother,
how could you say
you're a burden to me
after what you've done
yesterday?

You've carried me in your womb
for nine whole months
and you gave birth to me,
your one and only son

I can never repay your kindness
even if I sacrifice my life..
All I can do is to care for you
for your welfare, I will strive

We are not wealthy
but we have each other.
In a family,
that's all that matters

Thank you, Mother,
for your love and sacrifices
Thank you for everything.....

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
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Editing stage: 

Comments

This is a lovely tribute to your Mother, it could use a tidy up but I am loath to offer changes to something as personal as this, I think these sort of poems should hold the words of the writer

well done

love Jayne x

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

This one is just a copy of the original which I have written on Mother's Day last year. Go ahead, tell me where I can improve, 'cos this copy is for my learning journey here. Don't hesitate, girl. How else can I be a better poet without a poet of your caliber to show me the way?

Love
Alid

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