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Midnight Road

I once walked down a midnight road
Heard a croak from a single toad
Fires burned out on that night
Erratic bats in flight
Saints burnt down in the streets of old

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

the title and the poem is good, but I am a little puzzled by the last line. In the next to last line; you need another syllable. How bout "Erratic bats [taking] flight?

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hmm not sure the problem really is it the pace?
Mark
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author comment

You perhaps could add 4 paras
this is neither a Haiku
you say 'tis WESTERN

My view only
Mark
you Gee and Stan
are the future of Neo

or close enough to it lol
hi Lovedly
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author comment

neo is going SLOW

ALL KNOW

It is always darkest before the dawn.
[smiles]
Mark
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author comment
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