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A love everlasting

There are stars
in my soul,
there are scars
in my eye's

Leaving you
was the hardest thing
I'll ever do,
for I love you still

And always.

A million moments passed
then shafts of sorrow,
pierced the illusion
I'd summoned at our end 

Adorations birth took time
and the feelings I cherish,
grew from a seed of hate
into an everlasting love

This faith I hold dear
is mine and mine alone,
you see through a cawl
contempt with dislike

but when I leave this place,

I will show them stars
I gathered from our love
And I will show them life
devoid of your loved warmth,
as I've lived as half a whole

I will search a thousand lives
keeping constant pace,
until I see light we gathered
shining from your face

My love I miss your touch
with every single breath,
even though I'm forgotten
I'll never forget our days 

I miss your face.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

U have a few distinct voices in your writing
the touching ones I greatly sit up when
reading...
one of my struggles..

lately its getting better because Im
more accepting of others and mostly
myself..

loss and grieving are tough
sensitve..hurtful
aches...longings
regrets...

I give big sighs
and people who get a
chance send give
big hugs
not alone they said
in experience
existance and
Living...

writing is important
just as reading
of what life is
about!

how it makes
us individuals
and the cognitive
definition of selves

Thank U Sis!

(Big Hugs too U)

You know coming here and sharing my words is in a weird way coming home its filled with people who are not only my peers but also my family, having you all here is a comfort I am truely blessed with in difficult times ... Your a good man with a brilliant mind and a beautiful heart

Thank you for reading this Steven I appreciate it.

Love Jayne x

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

Good to see you Once again you have laid your emotions threadbare...the title is consistent with the poem being of everlasting love....the two closing stanzas say it all...

much love and warm hugs,,,be well..

raj (sublime_ocean)

I know no other way anymore, its the only way I know to write my best stuff is the real stuff I tend to strip it down in its entirety

Love and biggest hugs Jayne xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

I do know that..almost always your poems express true emotions strummed from the heart chords..

much love and warm hugs...be well...

raj (sublime_ocean)

I'm not so vague these days I'd dance around a topic in the past, not anymore. It gives me something I can't explain in mere words

Have a great day, night.

Love and biggest hugs Jayne xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

I've had one of my "I hate all poetry and will never write again" times. They have lasted years at a time.
You have helped bring me back.
The opening stanza is brilliant, the whole is beautifully crafted, honest and shines with pain, beauty and truth.
I wonder about the word 'cawl' is it a typo or a Cornish basket?

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Keen eyed elf !! I missed it it was a spelling mistake thanks so much for picking it up.

If I helped in anyway to bring you back to poetry that has just made my miserable day

That meens a lot and I know you know that x

Take care love, Jayne xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

This is brutally honest and direct. Taking what we need from the ashes of what was and building it into something we can use, is sometimes better than the whole of it. Sounds like you've learned that lesson well! ~ Higgest bugs, ~ Gee.
P.S. I think that the word is spelled [caul]?

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

I fall in love with that first stanza and it was enough 5o fraw me in to read the rest just to find I haven't wasted my time.
I always like to read your emotions, they are unlike anything else.
Be well dear.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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