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Lines

Submitted by One on Wed, 2022-07-13 10:38

Standing on the fault line
Searching for the headline
Feet upon the base line
Walking past the stop sign

Standing on the front line
Revving past the redline
Feet upon the time line
Staring at the warning sign

Lost between the lines I tread
Torn by the lies I have been fed
& all I know is that
I'm gunning for bloodshed

I am the cat amongst the pigeons
I am the wind behind the calm
I am the lost amongst the found
I am the sky within the ground

I am the opened can of worms
I am the darkness in the sun
I am the air within the drowned
I am the Devil with God's crown

Standing on the side-line
Stopping by the go sign
Feet upon on the time line
Waiting for the deadline

Standing on the white line
Searching for the right sign
Body falls into decline
Waiting for the firing line

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Comments

RoseBlack

Wed, 2022-07-13 21:43

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This was intense! I love your use of opposites. It created a powerful visual. I can feel your anger and your need for revenge. Well done!

~RoseBlack~

One

Fri, 2022-07-15 02:56

One's picture

I wrote this as a lyric with a hard stomping bass line. When vocalised it is like a chant.

Thank you for your time reading & commenting.

Anybody quoting Bruce Dickinson is welcome to comment on my work.

regards

One.

.
"with all that I am & all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me"

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RoseBlack

Fri, 2022-07-15 08:04

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These were lyrics! Absolutely fantastic! Bruce Dickinson is amazing. The lyrics to Tears Of The Dragon blow me away.

~RoseBlack~

Candlewitch

Thu, 2022-07-14 07:21

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I agree with RoseB.
my favorite lines are:
Standing on the front line
Revving past the redline
Feet upon the time line
Staring at the warning sign

Lost between the lines I tread
Torn by the lies I have been fed
& all I know is that
I'm gunning for bloodshed

*Love, Sis

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

One

Fri, 2022-07-15 02:56

One's picture

thanks Sis,

as always, thank you for dropping by,

regards

One.

.
"with all that I am & all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me"

author comment

Depressed 1

Thu, 2022-08-18 09:03

Depressed 1's picture

Nice poem. Reminds me of rap lyrics.

https://www.artofelpaso.com/

One

Fri, 2022-08-19 04:28

One's picture

Well you are right they are lyrics; it's for my band which is more electronic sounding & the vocal delivery is more chanted than rapped although the syllable count & bass line would accommodate a rap delivery.

Appreciate the comment,

regards

One.

.
"with all that I am & all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me"

author comment
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