Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
OFF LINE
Let's throw our cell phones in the lake
turn off the tube and radio
seek silence for sanity's sake
and travel where few people go
The madding crowd has maddened me
my senses have been over loaded
so we'll be as quiet as can be
as we try to get our souls reloaded
Our online friends will fare just fine
( at least for a day or two )
while we eat cheese and sip some wine
all alone just me and you
We'll even leave the car behind
and beat a deep woodland retreat
while bringing calm to hectic mind
we soon serenity shall greet
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
mand
Fri, 2011-01-28 18:13
Ohh !
That sounds lovely! some quiet time - no t.v, phone, gadgets of any kind. To get the "soul reloaded". I love that expression. Eating cheese and sipping wine sounds good - I feel like booking a holiday now.
Thanks Stan - Not bad for a bottle of pepsi. Lol
Love Mand xxxxxx
scribbler
Fri, 2011-01-28 19:05
line
Still a bit of fizz left I hope lol.................stan
author commentscribbler
Sat, 2011-01-29 08:50
line
I think back to before the time of internet and cell phones and whatever a "blue tooth" is. Seems folks were happier when they weren't continually "in touch" lol. thanks for the visit...............stan
author commentscribbler
Sat, 2011-01-29 17:13
hey Rosi
About the only internet I do is here lol. Susan and I aren't as plugged in as many thank goodness.............stan
author commentloved
Sat, 2011-01-29 17:02
When ur about to throw your cell phone
in to the lake
just call me
i'll keep it for some day
u may need it too
in any case
i need to have
one too
URS THOUGH OLD ENOUGH
WILL DO
loved
scribbler
Sat, 2011-01-29 17:15
greetings
I know my phone can do much more but I use it for phone calls only.......well also as a watch sometimes lol.................scribbler
author comment