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Letter To My Ex

I remember when your tears drenched my cloth
I thought it would dry up quickly
I waited as long as I could
But it became cloudy and bigger
As it gathered together
And poured on me,
I was drenched and fussed

My feet slipped when I was alone
It's then I knew that your eyes were good to watch everyday
Even, your smiles were the jingles that lured me to sleep
I listened to my heart any time I lost my way
Your jokes and feelings were rare.
Staying beside you is a grace
Come to smile like those days.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

this poem, I was thinking that you had gained a certain measure of competence. I felt that I understood much better than in previous, recent work. Your pacing is good, I've already said that your theme is good and the beginning flows well to the end. ~ Nice job! ~ Geezer.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

I like your comment. You also did a good job.

"Words are currency of ideas and have the power to change world. Ride your pen on the rough road."

author comment

The relationship is a flip coin.

"Words are currency of ideas and have the power to change world. Ride your pen on the rough road."

author comment
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