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The Letter

My love, Edward,

Rain has started again -
such short pauses between
its longing and breath.
It has caused me to sit here,
to write to you as if
I am just realizing
what I need to say.
I thought of you yesterday,
as I did the day before,
as I have for months now,
only to pause long enough
between thoughts and
desires of my own
to tell you that I had
once hoped for us,
once dreamed for us,
and prayed for us
to simply...
be.
My hope has withered
like final drops of rain
as the sky softly mellows
into its grayness.
I fold my letter
and tuck it away.

Yours,
Elinor

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
My favorite Jane Austen couple.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Yes, from Sense and Sensibility. I think of Elinor pretty often, actually, and her circumstances at the time period and in the Austen world. She was devoted, calm, and caring and very wise. And very much in love, all the while politely containing herself in order to tend to others. I think she is a character of high integrity. (And I love a happy ending.)
Thank you for reading!
L

author comment

Hello Lavender, love your Sense and Sensibility poem. Great characters whom you have deftly included in your poem. I read and saw the movies of most of Austen's books.
I have no nits, except for the usual ones, that you could do without several "the's" and so on. But never mind, it's your style and so you can take or toss.

Rain has started again -
short pauses between
its longing and breath.
Causing me to sit here,
writing to you,
I am just realizing
what I need to say.

This is an example. All the best, Gracy

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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

I am so grateful for your suggestion! I love the idea of condensing, simplifying and removing unnecessary words. Much smoother and more tranquil.
Thank you so much!
L

author comment

I enjoy many Jane Austen novels, Emma being one of my favorites, too, and the language is so romantic! Hmm...not sure that I can picture that smoking jacket and slippers scene - you both seem way too full of spirit!
Thank you!
L

author comment

and tucking the letter away, is what did it for me! I really enjoyed the language and although I have not felt the urge to write a cathartic, romantic letter for many years, I was stirred. ~ Geeze.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Honorable Elinor had to keep her strong emotions contained and subdued - she would never have actually sent the letter. Her story touches me. I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Thank you!
L

author comment
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