Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
LESSONS
My life is richer from where I've walked,
the things I've seen, the words we've talked.
For my journey to the now
was formed by all of this somehow.
The view of mountains far away
gave to me my need to roam
and see new country every day
distant from my simple home.
The upward trails gave my legs strength
and fortitude to see things through
no matter the path's slope or length
I sought to gain the summit's view.
The level spots taught me contentment,
to treasure when the path was smooth
with no concern to where it went
for I had little left to prove.
And the uneven rocky ways
where I'd often trip and fall
sometimes traced by icy glaze
showed that I could take it all.
And every time we would converse
I'd see yet one more point of view
expanding my own universe
but bringing me straight back to you.
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
For Susan on valentines
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
Geezer
Tue, 2018-02-06 15:18
I doubt...
that I could think of a more beautiful way to express my love to the woman I have spent so much time with! No fault anywhere that I can see. ~ Gee.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
scribbler
Tue, 2018-02-06 16:08
Hi Geeze
I hope she likes it. Appreciate your dropping by.....stan
author commentraj
Fri, 2018-02-09 15:46
To expand on what Gee has
To expand on what Gee has commented this poem tells me the beautiful connection and support you have with Susan. I could actually visualize both of you conversing about such simple yet beautiful connection you have about the natural surroundings / landscapes you are blessed with....which you love to explore....simply beautiful...the title fits like a glove...it is indeed a lesson for all of us to appreciate the beauty we are blessed with
Regards...
raj (sublime_ocean)
scribbler
Fri, 2018-02-09 23:54
Hi Raj
We've been together so long we can sometimes converse with mere jesters lol. Appreciate you dropping by.....stan
author commentpointless_writer
Mon, 2018-02-19 14:01
its
a beautiful poem with extrondiary imagery .
scribbler
Mon, 2018-02-19 14:19
Thank you.
I appreciate both the time to read and such kind comment.......stan
author commentEumolpus
Fri, 2018-05-25 10:54
consider this devise..
To me the poem centers around you, and you only introduce another in the last line. I would take that last line and repeat it at the end of every stanza. For example
My life is richer from where I've walked,
the things I've seen, the words we've talked.
For my journey to the now
was formed by all of this somehow.
Bringing me straight back to you.
The view of mountains far away
gave to me my need to roam
and see new country every day
distant from my simple home.
Bringing me straight back to you.
Etc.
...
Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings
scribbler
Fri, 2018-05-25 15:30
Hi
I like your idea and will smoke it over. But you are right about the abrupt introduction at the end so whether I use your specific "cure" or another I'll eventually do something about it. Appreciate the thought you put into this.......stan
author comment