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Late Night Munchies... [Random Challenge #16]

Hand full of peanuts
an ear for the blues
a glass of aged whiskey
and a mind full of you

Smooth riffs, toes keeping time
the memories clear
your sweet voice singing
low and sincere

Tinkling keys of piano
drawn notes of sweet Bess
my only friend, guitar
and she always says yes

No good women, always picking
fingers hold ivory picks
the bottle is a callin'
sip or two between the licks

Call my name sweet woman
just call it out low
Strings are humming, honey
bottle comfort and piano

All night long, into the morn
hold my heart sweet darlin' girl
Aged whiskey and the munchies
Sweet Blues, you're my world

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
Listning to Buddy Guy playing the blues
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

No good women, always picking (can you find another word for picking?)
fingers hold ivory picks or (fingers flow with hot licks)?

I love how easy you make it look you really do impress!!! favorite lines cannot be picked. as they all are so great!

*hugs & thanks, Cat
ever, eddy

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

forget my suggestion everything is fine!

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

I want you to see what happened after I posted this!
I thought that it didn't post, because I was directed to the page that tells you that you haven't passed the 23d hour and can't post it yet. I then went back and put the piece away. Went back to check and see if I had made a correction and found just the very last line left on my notebook! Oh shit, I somehow erased it! I thought that I would try to recapture some of what I had written [it being somewhat fresh in my mind]. I knew that it wasn't going to be exactly the same, [it never is]. But, I still had some lines that I was playing with. Soooo. I went back and tried to recreate it! I did what I thought was a pretty fair job! I then came back to see if I could post the new one. Guess what? The first one had posted! Now, I have another poem that if I had switched it for this one, a lot of people wouldn't notice! I will let this one set for a while and then post the other one alongside or under it, to see what you like better! ~ Hugs, Geez.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

author comment

I'm looking forward to it!

*Hugs, Cat & eddy

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

listening to Johnny Horton (battle of New Orleans)

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

that tune so much as a kid that I think my mom threw it away after a delegation of neighbors came to the door. LoL
I was listening to the blues as I composed this morning. Yeah, the blues at 8:30 am or thereabouts! If you like; check out the album I was listening to. Slow Blues and Ballads/ The Best Slow Blues Songs Ever vol 2

Geez.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

author comment

I will do that!!!

*hugs, Cat

p.s.

we've got J.H.'s greatest hits, steve plays it every now and again

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

to know that I considered your suggestion and decided to leave as is, because of several considerations. It was a valid suggestion and well recieved. ~ Geez.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

author comment

thanks Geez, I understand. (and suggestions are just that. to be considered and make one think)

*hugs, Cat
ever, eddy

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

it isn't possessive. The memories are clear, not the memory's clearness. I am not as love with this as when I first posted it; it seems out of balance and ragged. I think that tomorrow I will post the other one. ~ Geez.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

author comment
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