Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
In the Land of Chaos
In the land of chaos, women bow their heads
The frayed tapestries of dignity, hide not only
another beating, but a myriad of emotions
None of which are pleasant, but all of which have been taught
to be necessary in order to succeed in this patriarchal system
which knows no limits to cruelty
They wonder- will they be the cadavers this patriarchy violently demands?
Yet they hold it all together for their children
The children…..
In the land of chaos, the impoverished and oppressed are forgotten
as their nations’ boast a spectacular blaze of colour
dominated by tones of emerald and scarlet, to attract
the millions of tourists who will exploit
the culture, history and people of the land
Not to mention the children…….
The children…….
In the land of chaos, the ignorant tell stories and joke about
brief stints behind bars due to foolish behaviour and bad decisions
While the innocent spend years locked up for nothing other than
seeking asylum, seeking safety for themselves and their families
Their children…..
Children…….
Statistically, 50% of the world’s refugees are children
Children…….
In the land of chaos, the privileged are untouchable and far removed
from the daily struggles and suffering of everyone else
They are swept up by their ignorance and selfishness,
kept occupied by petty indiscretions and minor matters
In the land of chaos, the very essence of human nature
Has, for far too long, allowed and encouraged this chaos to continue
In turn, this land has continued to be the land of chaos
But if there has a been a time for change, that time is now
And if there’s ever been a reason for change
That reason is the children
The children……
Comments
Candlewitch
Thu, 2023-03-02 09:58
dear Kat.
I was ever so taken by this poem. where were you when I needed you at age 7 through 10???
you would have been my champion and heroine! this poem is a heart breaker to be sure... with the repeated line of:
the children
the children...
I think your poem is fine, but wait for Tim and Geezer to read and critique
*love, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Ekaterina Alexa...
Fri, 2023-03-03 04:34
Thanks Cat!
Thank you Cat for reading my poem and for your lovely comment. Your feedback is always appreciated and just as valuable as Tim and Geezer's!
Geezer
Thu, 2023-03-02 10:12
I don't have...
any suggestions for making the format look better
This is a lengthy poem, that speaks to the heart and
you are right, it will do better as a spoken piece.
The subject is one of great distress for many around the world
and you have written well about situations In The "Land of Chaos".
You might want to rewrite the line that goes, "will they be cadaver...
I can see it written as: [Will they be the cadavers, that this patriarchy demands?]
How about instead of: "the very nature of of human nature... you say:
...the very [essence] of human nature?
Other than these couple of things, I think you have done a fine job of writing
about difficult subjects. Nice work!
~ Geezer.
.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place
Ekaterina Alexa...
Fri, 2023-03-03 04:35
Thanks Geezer!
Thanks Geezer for reading my poem and your lovely comment. You are right about those edits- I will fix it Xxx
Clentin
Tue, 2023-03-07 08:10
Liked your poem. Yes, chaos
Liked your poem. Yes, chaos abounds the world today. Hope things can change.