Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Killing the Jungle

land
estates
no matter
who owns it now
the trees are falling
lopped off by huge machines
(steel has no fondness for life)
wipe out the great lush green jungle
to put in a road and a pipeline
communities are killed by greedy men

https://soundcloud.com/user-992937220/killing-the-jungle?si=4d1d07383fc7...

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

your title to be simple without making me search for the meaning. [I like that].
Your simplistic piece, contains all one needs to get the message and the thoughts contained within.
I especially liked the aside that [steel has no fondness for life]. I'm not sure if the layout was purposely made
to echo the thought of simply life and land then increasingly complex lines to mimic the threat of man and machines
but it certainly did that. Nice work, nothing to crit.~ Geez.
.

Don't forget to enter the October Halloween Contest!
there is a $25 Gift Card from Amazon and 3 months Premium Profile!

Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Tell each other what you think

.

actually it is an Etheree type poem. Starts with a one syllable line and progresses to 10.
I hadn't thought of it your way, but yes!
Thanks,

Enter our Halloween Poetry Contest.
The winner receives a 25 dollar amazon gift card
and 3 months premium benefits.
(if you have an existing premium account
then you will receive a 35 dollar gift card)

author comment

Your words speak volumes of truth The balance of nature to mans greed is way off but where and what is the solution

Chrys

check out our chat room open to all 24/7

Man is such a destructive animal huh?
Later,
Mark
.

Enter our Halloween Poetry Contest.
The winner receives a 25 dollar amazon gift card
and 3 months premium benefits.
(if you have an existing premium account
then you will receive a 35 dollar gift card)

author comment

We hear so much about the destruction of equatorial jungles but ignore the cutting of the temperate jungles here at home. Any suggestions I'd make would mess up the form of your poem

Thanks for dropping in,
mark
.

Enter our Halloween Poetry Contest.
The winner receives a 25 dollar amazon gift card
and 3 months premium benefits.
(if you have an existing premium account
then you will receive a 35 dollar gift card)

author comment

We haman's are naturally greedy, we consume more than we produce and that is affecting us in one way or another. It's a good one.

It has been said that we are more like a virus..
Later,
Mark

Enter our Halloween Poetry Contest.
The winner receives a 25 dollar amazon gift card
and 3 months premium benefits.
(if you have an existing premium account
then you will receive a 35 dollar gift card)

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.