Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
I'm Still Here
A child has been beaten
and is not old enough
to understand why
He goes into his room
and let's off a silent cry
The child does not cry loudly
for he's afraid his parents may hear
The child is afraid
What could stop this fear?
The child sits in the corner
with bruises on his head
The child isn't suffering anymore
For the child now is dead
The parents come in the room
and they start to cry
They didn't think beatings
would make their child die
-RAVENNIGHT
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
Rosewood Apothecary
Sun, 2022-07-31 02:11
Welcome
Welcome to the site. Thank you for posting your well written poem. It’s very sad to think about this scenario and not be upset. The poem is complete. You have a complete idea and you move quickly towards a definite ending. The title is also pretty good as it gives hints but also leaves ambiguity. Good job on the rhyme too.
Welcome again,
Tim
Depressed 1
Sun, 2022-07-31 03:30
Well Written
Very well written about a painful subject.
https://www.artofelpaso.com/
RoseBlack
Sun, 2022-07-31 11:09
Well written
On a very difficult but yet all too frequent subject.
~RoseBlack~
Candlewitch
Sun, 2022-07-31 12:18
hello and welcome,
a very sad subject. you covered it very well.
always, Cat
ever, eddy
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.