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I'm Saving Daylight... Neo. Random Challenge #13

Submitted by Geezer on Fri, 2022-03-18 17:59

The last time I was lost in time
My Mother told me, I should change my clocks
So, I had to crawl up on a chair
To be saving Daylight, which doesn't really need saving

Balancing on shaky legs, on shaky legs
I reached up for the clock
Feeling the ticking of the second-hand
Imagining that I had to crawl along a cliff, just to make it more exciting

My Mother asked me why I was humming
I said the last time I was lost in time
I had to crawl across the face of a cliff
Mother doesn't understand that you have to have the danger music

Saving Daylight is a tricky business
You have to crawl backward
Feeling the ticking of time
Mother thinks I'm childish and a little out of touch

Style / type:

Free verse

Review Request (Intensity):

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Review Request (Direction):

What did you think of my title?

Last few words:

Just a little exercise to try and get all four of the challenges in one poem.

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Contest:

Neopoet Random Challenge # 13

Content level:

Not Explicit Content

Comments

Geezer

Fri, 2022-03-18 23:47

Thanks...

for stopping by and leaving your comments. Yes, saving time does seem to be the thing these days! Touching everything in reach as always, ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

Candlewitch

Sat, 2022-03-19 10:03

pardon my saying so...but your mother doesn't seem to have much of an imagination, lol. I hope that she could appreciate the very special little boy she had. I vote we git rid of the dinosaur that daylight savings IS! once again, you have made me laugh!

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Geezer

Sat, 2022-03-19 14:56

Actually...

my mom, does have a good imagination and a good sense of humor. She still likes a good joke and when she isn't in too much pain, can crack a wisecrack with the best of them. She is 94 now, and living in a nursing home. ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

Candlewitch

Sat, 2022-03-19 16:23

hello Geez,

I hope she finds some relief from the pain. I use self-hypnosis and meditation Tylenol and an occasional oxycodone (about once every one to three weeks at bedtime) it is nice she has humor and you, her very great treasure!

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

One

Mon, 2022-03-21 06:59

Gee

This well-penned piece grabbed me with one simple line:

"You have to crawl backward"

That one one line gave this whole poem meaning to me & has already created a draft in my head of a new piece to write.

A typical Geezer poem which is a style I've always enjoyed about your writing & your view on life.

regards

One

.
"with all that I am & all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me"

Neopoet

I'm Saving Daylight... Neo. Random Challenge #13