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Hunger of a God
When we shared love - dragons of the evening,
and our tune was the sound of the nighttime rose.
Did you hear my wings, as they hummed love for you?
Did you grasp me tight, as if we two were one?
So I hand us down, all my time for you,
perhaps if you would, you could do it too
I always knew, that for you I do care
let there be song to really fill the air.
Skipping stones, we fling across fair water
from our perch at sunset’s fired rim edge
where breezes so warm do then slowly flow
and so we finally know there’s a birthing
made for this night's show, by a hungry god-song.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Rosewood Apothecary
Wed, 2022-06-22 18:04
Images
Love the picture you paint. Let me come back to it I wanna read it fresh in the morning when it’s quiet. I’ve got a maelstrom of family chatter and toddlers talking at me. I like it
mark
Wed, 2022-06-29 20:04
Hello
Pleased ya like it,
Mark
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author commentGeezer
Wed, 2022-06-22 19:36
I love the title...
I like the fantasy of this piece, I can see
two dragons flying side-by-side in a sunset sky.
I would choose my tenses a litle more carefully.
and our tune [is]...
[Do] you hear my wings...
[Will] you grasp me tight...
warm [and] slowly flow
Magical! ~ Geez.
.
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Geezer
Wed, 2022-06-22 20:15
You seem...
to have taken care of all my concerns. Well done sir! ~ Geez.
.
It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?
mark
Wed, 2022-06-29 20:03
Thanks Gee
Pleased you had a concern,
Mark
Be a vibrant component of our Neopoet community by talking with other Neopoets.
author commentRoseBlack
Fri, 2022-06-24 20:48
Beautiful
A beautiful love story, hints of romance and uncertainty. The images of one longing for the other and wishing the other would reciprocate, all with a fantasy twist. Well done.
mark
Wed, 2022-06-29 20:03
Thanks!
What a nice comment, Rose,
Mark
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