Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

The Hourglass

Thoughts go a swirling
They’re funneling down
Approaching the vortex
Around and around

Falling through the aperture
Join the other grains
A multitude of other thoughts
The pleasures and the pains

More still fall upon me
I’m crushed beneath the weight
Then someone flipped the hour glass
Before it was too late

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

I bet my blessings, that is what it is like to be a tiny grain of sand amongst a multitude of other grains of sand on there assigned great journey! most enjoyable, but my empath also feels the helplessness and the panic!

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Sand

If you can heal the symptoms
But not affect the cause
It's quite a bit like trying to heal
The gunshot wound with gauze
If you instead attempt to rest
The pistol from the hand
Then I would not be able to
Equate my life with sand

Flowing through the hourglass
Pushing through the funnel
Turn once more and racing
All your siblings for the tunnel
Slide and let the silicone
Embrace you as you fall
Then bounce around
And let your brothers
Crush you to the wall

I would choose my own religion
Worship my own spirit
But if he ever preached to me
I wouldn't want to hear it
I'd drop him a forgotten god
Languishing in shame
And then if I hit stormy seas
I'd have myself to blame

If you can heal the symptoms,
But not affect the cause
You can't heal the symptoms

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=60gvPhShVc0

author comment

well worth the time spent!

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

I can see and feel the swirling sand coupled with emotion. Nothing to change here. Another fine piece of poetry!

~RoseBlack~

and the theme makes one wonder what it is like to live in an hourglass, where you have to be tipped upside down every so often. I get the sense of what you are trying to say but have difficulty in expressing it. It's like knowing that our lives can be cut short at any time, and needing to be stirred up and refocused, so that we don't just fall out of the pile and lie dormant. I don't know if that makes sense, but... Yes, I enjoyed it and feeling like I have come close to someone who feels the same. ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

such rich thoughts. I've been always amazed by the sand hourglass. My parents used to have one when I was a kid and as I said it kept me occupied with many thoughts. Your piece brought back all this and more.
I especially like the last few lines
Always enjoyed reading your words sir

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Please follow me on Instagram
https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.