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Hot Sand and Hay-dust Bums

I wish for every day to be a beach day.
Hot sand and a tan while on land.
Got to get closer to this my true home.
The pirates domain is where my heart shall remain.

Hopping plodding, I hum a song,
(hot soles) something by Little Feat?
Plenty of Dixie Chickens around here,
yet I need to go closer to my call
-the ships waters, yes! I'm free (no fear)..

Pulled magnetically to this my true - real world.
Granular coolness squishes between my toes curled.
I’m a surfboard in the salty cold waves – a bikini babe waves!
Belly scratches make the ride bittersweet – (she looks so sweet)

Waterlogged, in a hay barn (hay dust all over our seats).
Jelly-kneed and feeling a weight, what now?
It’s only eight!

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content


Hi Mark,

Sounds like the most perfect of days. I detect hints of a kraken with a splash of happy endings?

This line transported me: Granular coolness squishes between my toes curled.


but the idea of a monster never came to mind is it so with you?
There are no perfect days I do believe but this one would be better than most lol
Later and thanks for coming by,

author comment

She’s a beauty, dressed up with suckers and at her girth I do moan.

Maybe a sexy siren with tentacles then?

in more than one dimension there I think.
Added some punctuation, hope it's better.
Thank you, Owl,

author comment

to me, like you've gotten tired of the "girl-watching" and are looking for something else to do, or maybe somewhere else to do more of it? ~ Geez.

When you are writing for the Random Challenge!
Example: "I Need To Recharge" is prompt.
title is "Plugging In" It should appear this way:
"Plugging In" - Random Challenge/ I Need To Recharge

The later haha,

author comment

of rolling around in hay in a barn with your fav or fav right now is way over rated. The dust just goes everywhere and in everything. I know hahaha

author comment

When I say "I wish I was there",,,, its metaphorically speaking.!! OK.

Not keen on the inversion here,,,,
"That ship’s waters where the Blue Whale does roam," it makes the rhyme sound forced, Mark.

I loved the final stanza, great ending.


I will continue with it,

author comment
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