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OF HOMES AND REALTORS

It's time once more to show your house
the realtor called up to say
so I and my lovely spouse
put all dirty clothes and such away.

And Susan, being like she is,
decided to vacuum the clean floors
and make the bathroom cleanser fizz
while she ran me out of doors.

seems that fifteen sprigs of grass
have grown a bit higher than others
so I must make the lawn mower pass
over them and all their brothers.

So around and around we both go
straighten that picture, center the rug
compulsively making everything"just so"
and god forbid she sees a bug.

Then a quarter till the assigned time
we leave to waste a bit of gas
while strangers who don't give a dime
check out our home in one fell pass.

Then they leave and we return
( agent didn't even leave his card)
Did they show up? We'll never learn
Selling a house shouldn't be this hard.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Well, we finally have a signed contract to buy. Now to start building our next, and likely last, home...stan
Editing stage: 

Comments

for a beautiful work of art. A really great poem is one that flows as easily as this does. Thank you, I very much enjoyed the read (and was entertained). Keep writing.

Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines

I appreciate your taking time to come by and leave such kind comment.......stan

author comment

and a poignancy in the content.

You Southerners sure do talk funny
gas doesn't rhyme with pass, it rhymes with mass, pass rhymes with parse.

Two lines break the natural feeling meter-
(the agent didn't even leave his card) [could lose 'even'?]
and
Selling a house should not be this hard. [maybe 'shouldn't'?]

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

It's you Aussies who don't talk properly lol. Made suggested contraction and one other change. Didn't want to delete "even" but maybe this works. Good to see you're back around......stan

author comment

is a mongrel mix of English, Irish, aboriginal and several others.
The Southern States accents are heavily influence by French, that's why none of you can do meter properly, you use long and short vowels instead of stressed syllables.
Who don't tawk proper?

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Yeah dialects can wreak havoc Cain't they?

author comment

Soo funny - Susan sounds so much like me and you sound so much like my husband. Funny enough we're having an estate agent round tomorrow to value our house. ( Guess what I'll be doing? ). Except I'm the one cutting the lawn etc - husband will be panicking because I'm panicking! Lol

Seriously though - this is a fun - yet serious poem - I love it all for it's honesty, I'm sure thousands of families / couples who have sold a house will totally relate to it.

Brilliant

Love Mand xxxx

I am So sorry your husband sounds so much like me.lol. We finally got a contract on our house so now the real frenzy begins. 57 days to get out, find short term living quarters, move all our stuff and (maybe) almost get new house built. Glad you liked this poem.......stan

author comment

He's even got bad knees like you! I hope the move goes well - not easy to move when your 62!

Mand xxx

Both got stuck with a coupla of shamblers huh? And yeah, not looking forward to moving. Going to try and spread it out over a 6 week period...........stan

author comment

the headache is yet to come. As Mand, I wish everything will go well.
I can relate to your poem. It is something most of us go through at least or twice during our lives.
Thanks for sharing.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Please follow me on Instagram
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You are right about moving being a pain but it's more a pain in the butt than head lol. Thanks for dropping by for a read.........stan

author comment
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