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Hitchhiking in the Dark (for Candlewitch)

Sullen rain beats upon me
A black figure beside midnight asphalt
Stars forgot my name and remained veiled
Soaking melancholy from a coal box sky

Never did I see or hear
Two beacons or the hum of gears
Pistons pushed by little fires
Life’s direction steered by fears

As hope dissolved into a void
Whose home lived with me on the road
Sable feelings walking me
Through this darkness all alone

Getting nowhere awfully slow
For years it seemed I shuffled feet
Then perchance and right on time
A passing stranger I did meet

Darker still with feline grace
She offered words into the pitch
Incantations just for me
Wisdom from this wandering witch

I’ll take you home if you desire
I’ll hold a candle to your mind
It’s clear your very soul is tired
Strafed and torn from trying to find

A home that maybe can’t exist
In all the nothingness abound
Turn your darkened eyes inside
For that is where your home is found

From that place of blackest fear
A brilliant growing shaft of light
Acting as the lodestar home
Shining through my darkest night

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
For Candlewitch, who stopped to lend this wayward soul a hand on dark road when all other lights had gone out.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Comments

The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Hitchhiking in the Dark" by Candlewitch captures the essence of a journey through a bleak and desolate landscape. The use of vivid imagery and metaphors effectively convey the speaker's sense of being lost and alone. The rain is described as "sullen" and the sky as a "coal box," creating a sense of hopelessness and despair. The absence of stars and beacons serves as a metaphor for the speaker's own lack of direction and purpose in life.

The turning point in the poem is when the speaker meets a stranger who offers words of wisdom and guidance. The description of the stranger as "darker still with feline grace" adds an element of mystery and intrigue. The stranger's offer to "take you home" and "hold a candle to your mind" is a powerful metaphor for providing comfort and direction to the lost and weary traveler.

The final stanza is particularly effective in its use of metaphor. The "place of blackest fear" is transformed into a "brilliant growing shaft of light," symbolizing the speaker's newfound sense of hope and purpose. The poem ends on a hopeful note, suggesting that even in the darkest of times, there is always the possibility of finding one's way home.

One suggested line edit would be to replace "whose home lived with me on the road" with "whose company kept me on the road." This would create a stronger sense of companionship with the speaker's feelings of melancholy. Overall, "Hitchhiking in the Dark" is a well-crafted poem that effectively captures the emotional journey of the speaker.

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the poem is phenomenal! I love the darkness swirled with strands of hope. like a lifeline. I don't know how I missed this piece of poetry...I have been away from neopoet for awhile. having medical problems. this is a treasure, as are you! you have captured the worst of being alone and the best of finding a light in the murky darkness.

*love, Cat

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That line just sucked me right in! The aching loneliness in that first verse is expressed beautifully.

We share the fact that we were both saved by that same spell-binding witch. She is an amazing person with an ability to see what so many others do not.

A great poem!

Thanx,
Steve

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