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Here I sit and here I stare

Here I sit
and here I stare.
Watching the
clouds glide
across the air.
No more worries
no more cares .
Leaving my
soul to soar
up god's
golden stairs.

Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

you are looking at the sky. Very nice; only one thing to fix; [god's]. ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Edward

In that place i seem to be after loosing so many.

I liked the flow

It spoke to me

Electric blue

Electric Blue

I think this might flow better if you ended lines on strong words, rather than weak words. For example:

Here I sit
(and) here I stare.
Watching the (clouds glide)

This is a nice, simple, meditative piece, which could be enhanced with less choppiness.

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