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Hello... Voicemail From the Grave...

The voice comes like
liquid gold and honey
Trembling, she listens
He's speaking to her

She dials the number
over and over again
The buttons are worn
She knows them by heart

She pays the bill each month
Knowing it's going to be forever
She doesn't mind
It keeps him alive

"Hello Darlin'
I know it's you
I knew you'd come back
I really love you"

Too late, she knows
Too late she realized
The voicemail from the grave
Is the worst reminder

She dials the number
over and over again
The numbers are worn
She knows them by heart

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Damn it
all are deaf
I thought only I was

WELL here is an
SMS for
GEE CATS etc

TELL ALL NEW COMERS
If they want praise then

THEY MUST REPLY
ALL COMMENTS
ELSE FLY
sky high

doing the best, we can at letting the rest of the site know that if they want critical feedback and comments, they must respond to the ones they get. I'm sure they will learn when they stop getting any critique or comments. Some of them will retreat to the dump sites, where they will get all the praise and glory they want, and we say good riddance! ~ Geez.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

I really like you poem, it made me smile...
my favorite lines are:

Too late, she knows
Too late she realized
The voicemail from the grave
Is the worst reminder

(I'm warped I guess)

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

say so! I think that there will be those that take pleasure in the fact that she learned her lesson too late. It's natural for some to want others to suffer the consequences of thoughtlessness. ~ Hugs from the boys, ~ Geez.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

I like that you chose to write a poem under that title. I knew that your poem would be deep and intriguing. and that you would take great care in the writing! it shows your style...I wish I could write like that. I mean to say that my writing is good, sometimes great, but I want to be phenomenal like you!

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

you give me too much credit. I am just a small part of Neo. that loves to write and spends time thinking about what to write. I often say that I wrote this or that in an hour or two, or that it wasn't much effort, but in truth, I mostly spend some time in thinking about the subject and how to write it, before putting [pen to paper] or fingers to the keys! Thank you much for your glowing and often overdone praise. ~ Hugs from the boys, ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

that YOU are the heart and soul of Neopoet. with all that you do!

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

heart and soul from the great friends and other poets here that make up Neo. I couldn't do anything without the people here, and especially Paul and Mark. They keep me going through the rough places. ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

to share the glory, but they aren't the ones giving critique on all the poetry in the stream! not to disparage them they do what they do well.

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Another emotional write. You can feel the grief in her dialing of his number. Fantastic job as always.

~RoseBlack~

I only take ideas and spread them around as I see fit. I have been reading a lot of Esker's lonely poems and came up with this for the challenge. I am inspired by the way that he wrote, and only wish that I could match his genius. Thanks again, ~ Geez.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

A poetic genius in your own way. Esker has a very unique style that will never be forgotten but you have paved your own unique path that we all enjoy. You have the ability to write on any subject which not everyone can do and give constructive critique to help us all along.

~RoseBlack~

I have no criticism. Just appreciation. Well done.
and...lol...just a 'small part of Neopoet'?
manifestly untrue, given this poem.

Respectfully, Race

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

my humility doesn't fool you! Oh well, I guess that I shall have to tone it down a bit, and make sure that I do better. As I have said to Roseblack, I merely take ideas and spread them around, I do believe the old saying; that "There is nothing new under the sun." I just mix it up and pour it back out. I love this place! Many thanks for the appreciation. ~ Geez.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

conversations
now more than some hollow poets
who never grow
nor feel part of neo

that you are a constant presence, and don't miss much around here. You do a great impression of a doddering old man, and I appreciate you chiming in. You have moments when your brilliance shines through and I can't wait until you drop all the pretense and really shine like you occasionally do. ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

You have moments when your brilliance shines through and I can't wait until you drop all the pretense and really shine like you occasionally ?????do. ??????

~ Geez.
ME THINKS U DESERVE thanks friendly NEO
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