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Healing Droplets

The pain is healing;
The love is flowing;
Once again between the kids and she;
The babies were born still not in whole;
But neither in the cold;
The pain is healing, healing, healing!

She watched them grow into the different stages;
Their precious minds trying to comprehend;
Of the life they experienced;
They needed the love and assurance of both parents;
But could not fathom why not?
It became a lot;
So they just closed up;
Into their world who cares a damn;
The pain is healing, healing, healing!

They chat yet not deep;
They smiled but not wholeheartedly;
The mother saw the emptiness in their eyes;
The distance so near yet so far;
To turn back the years and see them small once more;
To bond with them is what mothers are for;
To hug them tight and wipe away their tears;
To let them feel their mother’s strength;
The pain is healing, healing, healing!

As they grow older, they saw the world through the eyes of an adult;
Then they may have felt their mother’s struggle;
Then they may have felt how hard life is to juggle;
They took their education with much deliberation and;
Made their mother proud;
The pain is healing, healing, healing!

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Hi everyone, any comment to improve this poem or perspective is most appreciated.
Editing stage: 
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Not Explicit Content

Comments

that is energy flowing in the right direction....the opposite energy ingrown goes bad and poisons every aspect of life. they are healing...and all is right with their world...

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Hi Candlewitch thank you for taking the time to read this piece and share your comment.

Candice Vitalien
"Keep glowing even if no one can see your light.
For among the hidden stars on the darkest night
Someone will look up and behold
The flickering hope; words untold;
Strength and Honour my Warriors! "

author comment

3rd line her,maybe try she in there and see how that works. Poerful words the repetion works well with the word healing. Nice piece of work

Chrys

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Hi C Lynn Brooks I have inserted the word she instead of her. Let me know if that is what you meant. Thank you for taking the time to read this piece, and for the compliment.

Candice Vitalien
"Keep glowing even if no one can see your light.
For among the hidden stars on the darkest night
Someone will look up and behold
The flickering hope; words untold;
Strength and Honour my Warriors! "

author comment

Beautiful, I think now the sentence is softer. Thank you for using my suggestion

Chrys

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Let it surround and penetrate every aspect of you and yours. I love this one!

Keep on movin’
Tim

Hi Tim glad you like this piece. Thank you for the encouraging words.

Candice Vitalien
"Keep glowing even if no one can see your light.
For among the hidden stars on the darkest night
Someone will look up and behold
The flickering hope; words untold;
Strength and Honour my Warriors! "

author comment

When you get your book finished and it’s available I’d like to purchase it. Keep up the good work and as always I stand in admiration of both your writing and you spirit.

Awesome job
Tim

Hi Tim, aww, will definitely keep you in mind, and again thank you for the external support and always inspiring words. It goes a long way to propel me to push forward and improve my writing.

Candice Vitalien
"Keep glowing even if no one can see your light.
For among the hidden stars on the darkest night
Someone will look up and behold
The flickering hope; words untold;
Strength and Honour my Warriors! "

author comment

From trauma is an uphill battle but you have captured the beauty of it in this poem. Great job.

Join in our collaborative poem workshop. Each member will have a chance to write two stanzas at least four lines each. The stanzas must be relative to the poem.

Hi RoseBlack thank you for your encouraging words and compliment.

Candice Vitalien
"Keep glowing even if no one can see your light.
For among the hidden stars on the darkest night
Someone will look up and behold
The flickering hope; words untold;
Strength and Honour my Warriors! "

author comment

I will try hard not to impose my writing style on you. I will come back to this one in the near future. I see where it may be tightened up and the lines poked a bit. ~ Geezer.
.

Hi Geezer understood no problem. Thanks for reading this piece.

Candice Vitalien
"Keep glowing even if no one can see your light.
For among the hidden stars on the darkest night
Someone will look up and behold
The flickering hope; words untold;
Strength and Honour my Warriors! "

author comment
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