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Hazy

I woke up this morning
Things weren’t what they’d always been
Felt a little hazy
Like a distant Autumn dream

They say your purpose
Is where you find your heart
But sometimes purpose
Can tear your life apart

You pour all emotions into the notion
That you’re doing something right
You keep very busy
Working well into the night

You enter a darkness
Living under clouds that block the sun
Not feeling any satisfaction
With the things you’ve said and done

It’s time for change
Try turn the page
Pave the path to better days
Don’t wanna feel this way forever
Feeling hazy…..
Feeling shaky….
Like a stranger to myself
Don’t wanna be this way forever
It’s time to focus on myself

See this world is changing
And with every day we grow
I’ve strived for perfection
Now it’s time to take it slow

Focus on my children
Enjoy the moment for a while
Leave the future for another day
Realise the beauty of a smile

It’s time for change
Try turn the page
Pave the path to better days
Don’t wanna feel this way forever
Feeling hazy…..
Feeling shaky….
Like a stranger to myself
Don’t wanna be this way forever
It’s time to focus on myself

Don’t wanna feel this way forever
Feeling hazy…..
Feeling shaky….
Like a stranger to myself
Don’t wanna be this way forever
It’s time to focus on myself

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Last few words: 
This is a Frente/ Alex the Astronaut inspired lyrical piece to sum up my current situation. This week, after 12 years I quit my job. I've always felt that I have had a super clear purpose in life; to help underprivileged children, help the refugees, fight for NDIS, disability support and early intervention etc etc. This has left me feeling a bit burnt out. Now I just want to focus on myself and my own children. After April, I won't have a job or a purpose- which is kind of scary. But I feel like I have made the right decision! I really hope so.....
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

I hope that you will be happily comfortable with your decision and that all good things come to you.it is only good karma that this should be yours!

*love & hugs, Cat

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When someone reads your work
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And reply in kind, thanks.

Thank you so much my dear friend. I'm sure everything will work out. I trust the universe Xxx

author comment

Look after number one, learn to say NO as often as you can even if it makes you feel guilty. I am a very selfish person, I have always put myself first and because of this i have great relationships with my wife and children who take me for what I am.
It's ok to worry about the future but it is never as bad as it seems it may be. Good Luck. Alex

Thank you so much for your words of encouragement! Saying NO is exactly what I'm working on.

author comment

Look I had hammer once (this is a parable). It was a good hammer and I accomplished a lot of work with it. Then one day out of nowhere through means beyond my control I was forced to put that hammer down for good. For awhile it hurt. Everything looked like a nail and I knew the hammer was still there but I also knew it wasn’t good for me anymore.

So I sat. I wrote. I started to process. Then, a little at a time I learned to let go my hyper fixation over all these nails. I started noticing screws, twine and lashings, mortise and tenon joints held with glue and no fasteners at all…all these things.

I wouldn’t have come to find this site if I had stayed with my hammer. I wouldn’t have set to recording my musical catalog had I stuck with my hammer. I’m a working artist for the first time in my life at 44 (my original college path that I abandoned.) Got three books of poetry I need to get formatted for publication.

Sometimes you gotta let go. It’s a fucking trust fall but it’s my opinion that we get what we’re ready for and we don’t get what we can’t handle. Unless of course we’re unwilling to forget the goddamn hammer.

Good luck
Tim

Say it with me
BOUNDARIES

Thanks Tim, you are exactly right! I am excited to see what the future will hold. How cool that you are a working artist! You must love what you do Xxx

author comment

There is always fear when we make decisions that are going to affect ourselves & our families especially when you have a family, I brought up four kids & every time I made a career change I was terrified I'd made the wrong decision, one thing? whatever happens move forward don't dwell on losses, learn from them, we all have them along the way we will all have losses & wins, focus on the wins and you will reach whatever purpose fate has in store for you.

I wish you nothing but good luck in the future, now to your poem I see nothing I would change its a self-reflective poem and these types of poems I believe should be left alone unless there is a glaring spelling mistake which I didn't see.

Well done!!

Love and big hugs Jayne x

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

Thank you so much dearest Jayne Xxx

author comment

Expresses ongoing deep feelings that I understand well. Sometimes we worry about what others may think or feel when we should examine our feelings and take actions that would improve ourselves.

Good job

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