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haiku
winter bears his age
thin, spent hands longing for warmth
bright seedlings of spring
Style / type:
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
With only another month or so to go, Old Man Winter must be feeling a bit weary.
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
RoseBlack
Tue, 2023-02-14 17:53
Thoughts of Spring
Old man winter must be ready for a nap! I love the image of his old, thin, frail hands getting ready to retire for the season. Well done! I love haiku.
~RoseBlack~
Lavender
Tue, 2023-02-14 18:03
Hi, Carrie,
Yes! I agree! He's probably needing a nap very soon!
Thank you so much for reading!
L
Rosewood Apothecary
Tue, 2023-02-14 20:26
Well done
Nice personification of the old cold boney fingers.
Tim
Lavender
Wed, 2023-02-15 12:00
Hello, Tim,
I'm actually going to shuffle this around a bit, not feeling completely satisfied with it. Thank you for reading! Hope you had a fantastic Valentine's Day.
L
Lavender
Wed, 2023-02-15 12:01
Hello, Kat,
Thank you for visiting and reading! I appreciate your insights.
L
Clentin
Sat, 2023-02-18 10:51
Loved the poem. I viewed
Loved the poem. I viewed several haiku poems so I could try to write a few. Thank you for such a good example
Lavender
Sat, 2023-02-18 11:24
Hello, Clentin,
I appreciate your comments very much. I am actually still not satisfied with this, as the second line needs some work. I'd like it to be the pause, the "cutting away" line that renders the contrast of the haiku. I look forward to reading yours!
Thanks, again!
L