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Glass Heart - Random Challenge #10

A glass heart was dropped,
It fell to the floor, misunderstood.
And it died with no witness to bear.
I never kept a religion, never prayed to the gods,
I don’t believe in kneeling to nothing.
The sky turned gray under pressure of a hurricane.
You held an ax behind your back, sharp points in view.
They threatened to take prisoners.
You said we’d buried the hatchet,
Truth is- you buried it in me.
Call me your bambi baby, your guilty pleasure.
I laugh from the grave-
No longer the doe eyed deer and
I leave you in the past.
But the war in my mind never settled,
It lies in wait, with an ace in hand.
Everything is fine now, that's the worst part-
To go from the fireworks, the bursting bombs
All the way down to nothing.
Maybe it’s the worst to say that I loved,
And this time I lost.
Despite all our best efforts.
But I was meant to be all along, just maybe.
That's tragic but true.
In a home, I lived with material, rather than substance.
I used to dress up the fear, the hate, the longing,
With pretty silk sheets and red roses.
But the roses can burn.
I’d take the truth over placation any day.
I’m not her anymore- I refuse to have a glass heart,
And to have my bloody torn body strewn
Across beds of flowers.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

however, I did not see which of the titles this piece related to until reading for the second time. This is the reason that the writer is asked to use one of the titles provided. Your own title may be added after that. I cannot say that I enjoyed the topic as it is of such a sad nature, but I can admire what you wrote.. You have laid it all out for the reader. Evidently, the writer has been abused in a relationship. A theme that has been done and done again. You do make it palatable and understandable. Living in luxury, while living a lie, is not a living at all. I felt that there were a couple of places that you could make a change or two and be a little smoother.

1] Most times, you speak in the singular, but then [They] threatened to take prisoners].
2] But [it] was meant to be all along?

All-in-all a well written piece. ~ Geezer.
.

When you are writing for the Random Challenge!
Example: "I Need To Recharge" is prompt.
title is "Plugging In" It should appear this way:
"Plugging In" - Random Challenge/ I Need To Recharge

Yes indeed, it's a free verse. The persona in the poem had a broken relationship that went sour. This poem recapulates the occurring decimal in our contemporary society. Relationship is no longer what is sounds to be. It's either love apart or togetherness.
No matter how deep we seem to love, love with a woman is very delicate. The fragility is somewhat unbearable and cannot discern when is about to hewn.
It's not too good for man to love so much but to love with his head.
Love the theme the poem portrays.

Onyinyechi Cosmos

First of all, the good. Language use was superb in parts, my favourite stanza was
"Everything is fine now, that's the worst part-
To go from the fireworks, the bursting bombs
All the way down to nothing."
Also loved your use of juxtaposition. What I would offer in guidance is to go over it again with a few edits, read it out loud. Take out anything that you feel is taking away from the poignancy of the stanza's like that aforementioned for example in the line "And it died with no witness to bear," could do without the and. I feel as though with a couple of edits the beauty in this piece would just shine. The ending moved me also. Well done, keep writing, and best wishes.

Nicholas.

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