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A Game of Wits
Eros and Artemis
at a game of wits
who could loose
the cleanest dart
the northernmost tower
he cast into flame
the dominion to the south
fell to famine
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Candlewitch
Wed, 2022-03-30 11:39
dear Dalton,
when the Gods play, they play for keeps and on a grand scale! I like your title and the poem flows well. good language to carry it off. I much enjoyed this piece of art!
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Dalton
Wed, 2022-03-30 16:21
Hi Cat
Thanks Cat I guess this came from reading Sappho we are playthings of the gods indeed, thanks for reading few bother :)
author commentCandlewitch
Thu, 2022-03-31 07:20
my dearest Dalton,
I think, if you read more poems of the poets of Neo and comment on them, they would read and comment on yours. you are intelligent and knowledgeable, your advice or encouragement would be welcome.
*warm hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Dalton
Wed, 2022-03-30 16:22
Hi Cat
The northernmost tower the head or the seat of thought
The dominion to the south the sexual organs
author commentCandlewitch
Thu, 2022-03-31 07:12
dear Dalton,
you are absolutely right!
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.