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The future starts now

Submitted by Leslie on Tue, 2023-02-28 17:22

The future starts now!

Freedom a rhetorical line
Meant to impress the human mind
Does it even exist
On the field of time
Does it have the power
To draw us into the sublime
I think not my friends
As is my conjecture
Opposition creates it
Destroys its own infrastructure
One day sailing on a placid sea
The next day tempestuous
Gone like a breeze
The presence of consequence
Is always at hand
It’s travesty unwanted
It moves over the land
Destroying peace
Bearing down with chains
Refusing to release
When it’s got you down
Your only hope
To follow the good word down
Bow your head to offer grace
Your destiny is held
In your very own hands!
Just hold on tight!
Your future starts now!

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
I really just want to know if it makes any sense to the reader and if they have felt the same way.
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Geezer

Wed, 2023-03-01 09:10

Geezer's picture
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I understand your reasoning. We must take the end result of any action, and utilize it, making better decisions for our futures.
There are times when we consider that the consequences of our actions seem to be more severe than need be, in regard to our intent, but the fact is that we cannot always predict how things turn out, and we should be prepared to do something about it. I don't see anything I would change. ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
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Leslie

Wed, 2023-03-01 13:55

Leslie's picture

Thanks for your comment. I appreciate the time that you took to read and think about it.

The power of our language can and will change the world.
Successively until our languages become one!

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