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A Frivolous Waltz With the Senses

I see a proud marble staircase
spiralling towards perilous heights,
luminous against the dark iron railing
Intricate details etched into the crevices
tell the story of those
who foolishly yearned for more

I hear the faint breath of
the person I used to be;
once innocent and untainted
by the burden of being a man’s desire
The steady breath demands no more
that what is willingly given

I smell the exhaustion of old allies
lured by the chance of enlightenment
yet deceived by the lie told
of their worthlessness
How I wish them well in this battle
that should not need to be fought

I taste remnants of those
whom once wished me harm
This seduces my tongue
like the tannins of a fine wine
I taste not victory,
but an overwhelming sense of relief

I feel sorrow and fear for the ones
who are yet to travel the path
that I have overcome
I feel hope that they will too
make it through
this frivolous waltz with the senses


Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
This poem is about overcoming the feelings of shame, self loathing, doubt and worthlessness that the patriarchy has instilled in us. As women, we are constantly made to feel like we are not good enough, smart enough, successful enough, attractive enough. We are made to feel like we are not even the owners of our own bodies. We are made to constantly question everything about ourselves which turns us into our own worst critics. Sometimes it just feels like we are stuck in a never ending waltz with our own senses. I'm finally learning to let go of all these feelings, to accept myself and to just be free from all this pressure and expectations. I send love and strength to all other women who are going through the same thing. Xxx
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content


A very strong opening espec for someone suffering from terrible vertigo myself. I admire the feeling of speaking of imposed viewpoints about the female body imposed by ideals of sexuality forced on the senses by the media and society in general. Of course women should not be a slave to such notions men and women are more than our bodies. It’s taken for granted by men less so by women. Case in point my sister is a systems architect in IT she was giving an hour long discussion on a system she’d created with a Chinese gentleman and because she’s a beautiful woman he wouldn’t believe it was her that was the architect that made her very cross and upset. She deals with that a lot but of course she’s very good at putting men in their place

Your sister sounds awesome! Good on her Xxx

author comment

My sister is a powerful warrior nothing holds her back and she fights for what she wants to find her place in this world

Obviously the subject matter is strong and the tides are changing. But the poetry; Oh my how very good. You’ve chosen something difficult and important to say, you’ve said it with artistry. I think this is probably my favorite poem of yours. It has all the things I look for in great poetry.


And the title is perfect.

Thanks guys for reading this. Your comments are appreciated and valued! It's really encouraging to hear that men can appreciate this type of poetry and support the themes and issues discussed :) :)
Together we can create a better world Xxx

author comment

This may be your best yet! You have done well on a hot subject! You have managed to write a very good poem while pressing home your point! Nice job! ~ Geezer.

This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place

I'm glad you enjoyed this one. It's an important issue!

author comment

On a delicate subject. Your best to date!


Thanks so much my dear friend! I'm glad you enjoyed it xxx

author comment

This was a beautiful writing. The stigma that is aimed at women by many men. Isn't helpful, appropriate or useful.
It is arrogant and selfish, Don't allow yourself to venture too far Into the painful moments of the past.
Stay with those who really need you right here and now in the present moment.

The only difference between a grave and a rut is that one has an open end!
Just keep moving, writing, whatever it takes! You've got it sussed!

I'm sorry if there is anything condescending in my reply. I'm a dangerous psychologist sometimes trying to fix
others problems. I know that in reality the only one that I can fix is myself and that laboriously.
In any event anything I say or have said was not meant to be delivered in that manner. Please forgive me if I have offended you.

The only difference between a grave and a rut is that one has an open end!
Just keep moving, writing, whatever it takes! You've got it sussed!

Hi Aesthetic Night- you haven't offended me! Your comments are always thoughtful and kind. It's great that you are so caring towards others. Thank you for reading and for your comment xx

author comment
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