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Fit for angels

She speaks
In a velvet voice
Fit for angels
But not to me

Spending time with her is a gift

A feeling
Like my stomach is caving in
I can't breath
I'm nervous
Around her
Thinking about her

Worrying
Wondering
Wanting to know everything
About her

Her

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Last few words: 
I already published this poem but edited it based on the constructive criticism and decided to post the new one. Thanks for helping me out!
Editing stage: 

Comments

An expression of intense feelings that can potentially give rise to something deeper, perhaps love. Nice.

Bathe yourself with poetry and let the world go to pieces.

Not everyone is able to accept constructive criticism and this is a good rewrite, a better poem.

However I disagree with Mark about posting it as a separate poem (we can disagree with each other and still be constructive). If you use the Edit tab to edit your poem another tab appears 'Revisions', with that you can easily compare previous versions to be sure you have lost nothing and we can do the same, to help you better.

I look forward to your next poem,

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
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I'm glad that you have gotten something good out of the critique that you were given. I think that this piece has gotten better, and Jess is right, if you use the edit option, you will have better results. ~ Nice work, ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
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