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The First Redhead pt 3 by: eddy styx

part 3

the stranger saw the yearning, stirring,
light glimmered in her greedy eyes!
Adam, squatting just off the path, dull expression,
completely absorbed playing with a bug on a stick.
The stranger gave not a second thought to her partner,
knowing Eve must be won over in order to break her pact.
So he whispered in her ear, tickling her rancid butter brain,
promising and cajoling, of what he said will forever be unknown
a dark secret between her and the man/serpent who offered her
the forbidden fruit. Gazing into her uncertain eyes he took a bite,
"See, no poison or lightning strikes, all is well with me..." was said
Eve saw it was so, she took a rapacious bite as her desire began.
She broke through Adams reverie and offered the fruit up to him.
Juice dribbled down his chin, while Eve looked around, surprised!
In a bright flash of light, they felt fingers in their backs
ushering them swiftly to the gate that would never open to admit them again.
God boomed in a thundering voice; "The tree of Life/knowledge has spoken..."
Eve suddenly felt ashamed of their nakedness, trying to cover herself.
"What the heck is that ugly stumpy thing between your legs" she demanded.
Adams answer was to pull a leaf from a Fig tree with which he covered "the thing."
Then Eve banged on the gate, clinging to it, "but, where are we to go?"she cried.
The guardian at the gate threw back Her cloak, Laughing a mighty laugh, She
just pointed to the unknown, saying, "your story doesn't end here"...

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
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Comments

I can't stop laughing. Well done!!!

~RoseBlack~

I was afraid that this line would get me clobbered over the head, LOL, I like your sense of humor ;) when Steve read this, he said(with much surprise): "WOW! you really don't like women, do you?" I replied, " that's true for the most part. but for those who have earned my respect by word or deed. (I came from a household of women/bitches all) thank you!

*ever, eddy
*hugs, Cat

*
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author comment

And off they go! The guardian's words lead me to believe there will be more. The thought you've put behind this is impressive.
L

thank you for reading, there will be more. even though it is like pulling teeth to get it out of me, lol!
*eddy styx
*hugs, Cat

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When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. ( New international version)

A very beautiful work done in a poetic way! You must be an avid reader of the bible.
.

"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

I have read the Christian Bible many years ago and go to it now-a-days for referencing. mostly to discover the glaring holes in the tales. there are many amusing stories to be discovered.
thanks for reading.

*hugs, and love, Cat

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author comment

about your background and so as I read this, I was completely aware of the blame placed squarely on the shoulders of the
redhead! LoL Yeah, I have been following this one with my antennae, wiggling in anticipation. This is one of your better stories! I love it! ~ Geez.
.

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This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

I have been amazed that this set of poems is so easy to write! I'm enjoying my self. there should be one more installment. ;)

*hugs, Cat

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author comment

So looking forward to reading the 4th episode :)

I've been catching my breath...maybe I will finish up today ;)

*hugs, Cat

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author comment

Both literary and humourous in parts reminds I guess of Ben Sira's first account of Lilith if he weren't a misogynist. I'm loving the unexpected paths this series is luring the reader. Will be delighted to be lured by more my friend regards John :)

thank you so very much for following along my demented ravings! I shall try to finish up today.

*love and hugs, Cat

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author comment

Waiting in anticipation my friend :)

I have it written, just working on the finishing touches! should be posting in about ten minutes

thank you, dearest, Cat

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