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First love
I didn’t know what it felt like,
Till I met you
I thought it was something people made up,
Then I sat across from you
Its a funny feeling,
I didn’t know what it was at first
I thought I may have been sick,
But it didn’t go away
I don’t think one can describe love,
I think it feels different for everyone
I’m always thinking of you,
Even when I shouldn’t be
My stomach is a mix of a treacherous pit,
And a butterfly sanctuary
I think I might always feel this way,
Only for you
My first love,
The one who showed me what it feels like
Sometimes I wonder if you love me too,
Or if I just feel this gut wrenching emotion on my own
I don’t think it matters to me in the end,
I just want you to be the happiest you can be
With me,
Or with another
You will always be my first love
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
Same girl, same funny feeling
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Rosewood Apothecary
Tue, 2022-08-16 05:54
Fanboy
I’m definitely getting a feel for your structure. It’s a free verse but all your poems have a similar cadence about them. They’re really fluid. You’re a good writer, able to articulate your thoughts and you lend the feel of longing by being poignant with nearly every line.
For my money this is one of the greatest themes on can find in poetry and writing. It’s a whirlwind both terrifying and uplifting and with any luck we all get to feel that way about someone at least once in our lives.
Great job again,
Tim
Geezer
Tue, 2022-08-16 15:31
Yes, yes, yes...
I have had the good fortune to feel that way a couple of times in my life, and been fortunate enough to have the feeling
reciprocated, [at least for a little while]. Nice stuff! I like the way you manage to involve the reader very quickly. ~ Geezer.
.
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Lavender
Tue, 2022-08-16 22:55
First love
Hello, whoswordsarentthey! (Gotta know the history of your poetry screen name, please!)
I continue to like the two line form - it gives the theme a simple and straightforward feeling. Still, there is so much that is not simple, at all. That feeling really is sick, leaves a treacherous pit in your stomach, and definitely carries gut-wrenching emotions. And yet, you wish her to be the happiest she could be! Your description is vivid and perfect, just like your title.
Thank you!
Lavender