Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Feeling Like Johnny Cash
I must be feeling like Johnny Cash
cause I might hurt myself today
End all my pain and suffering
end it all today
But in my heart I feel like
I am way too young to die
So I'll just turn on that sad
sad song and hurt down deep inside
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
Contest:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
Rula
Sun, 2023-01-08 00:46
Hello Heather
and a warm welcome to Neopoet. A good first submission and a good decision that you've decided to take. I think you wanted "too" rather than "to" in I am way too young to die.
just a tiny thing.Other than this I really hope that you'd stick around so that we'll read more of your poetry,
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Please follow me on Instagram
https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
Heather Perry
Tue, 2023-01-10 15:47
Thank you
Thank you for pointing that out to me
Heather Perry
author commentCandlewitch
Sun, 2023-01-08 07:55
hello Heather,
I think poetry and music are a big part of our lives. some songs speak to us like no others. it feels like they were written just for us! Please stick around and get to know your fellow poets here on Neopoet. if you do, you could discover that you are not alone and many understand you. welcome!
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Heather Perry
Tue, 2023-01-10 15:48
Thank you
Thank you for your comment and I plan on sticking around and get to know my fellow poets
Heather Perry
author commentRosewood Apothecary
Mon, 2023-01-09 04:25
Welcome to the site
Your poem is as personal and haunting as Johnny Cash’s version of Trent Reznor’s song “Hurt”. Thanks for sharing yourself with us. Look into that small correction Rula pointed out, she right on that.
I hope you continue to write and post here with us. I’ve enjoyed an tremendous amount of support and critique from our members.
Tim
Heather Perry
Tue, 2023-01-10 15:48
Thank you
Thank you Tim for your comment
Heather Perry
author commentRoseBlack
Mon, 2023-01-09 19:38
Hi Heather
Short but intense. I am very glad you decided to stay with us as I look forward to reading more of your work! Great job! Love the reference to Johnny Cash!
~RoseBlack~
Heather Perry
Tue, 2023-01-10 15:49
Thank you
Thank you for your comment Rose Black
Heather Perry
author comment