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Farewell to Myself

The heart
painfully shy.

Longing for acceptance.

Reins in its desires.

Believing nothing good
can ever come to it.

And therefore refuses to try.

Hurts the one it cares for
then begs for forgiveness.

But can never
forgive itself.

Lives in the past now
where dreams become
a way of life.

Tries to find
the right words to say
to somehow
make the pain go away.

And remains forever  
one beat short
of dying


Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
Last few words: 
Just another failed effort to try and make things right after hurting yet more person who I loved and respected. This has been a pattern in my life. I hurt those I love and care about. Then I end up overwhelmed with feelings guilt, grief and regret for weeks after. I was at a really low point in my life when I wrote this.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content


I'm sorry you had to experience pain and regret to write this, but my, is it beautiful. Some of one's best writing comes from pain. I truly hope you can move through this experience with ease and grace. Well done!

Thanks so much for that. I am pleased that you were able to look past the pain and see the attempts to turn that pain into something constructive that might in some small way reach out and speak to those same feelings in others.

Very lovely comments here. Thanks so much for reading and replying.

Be blessed.

author comment

If you ever wanna talk I’m always on here. I have a lot of insight on this. I’m a survivor of CPTSD, these are some of my hallmark behaviors. The way you wrote this is so accurate a portrait of my disorder I feel immediately connected to your pain as I too have lived this nightmare for most of my life.

There are good people here if you need support,

I truly appreciate that my friend. I am so sorry to hear of your condition and hope that it does not have too much of a negative effect on yer daily life.

Me, when I do things like this, it's usually because I sometimes say or type things without thinking about how I'm expressing myself or what I am saying, until after the damage has already been done.

I have offended whole families this way, and afterwards momentarily wished that I could somehow turn into a lower life form and crawl off somewhere and either die, or never be found Yes, it was that bad.

But thanks for yer offer my friend. And I will keep it in mind if it ever gets really bad again like it has at times.

Good hearing from you, and thank you again for the comments.

Stay well.

author comment

Thank you my dear for yer very lovely and heartfelt comments. I really appreciated what you had to say, and was very moved by it as well.

Sending big hugs right back to ya. (((Kat)))

Thank you again.

Be blessed.

author comment

so very sorry to read of your situation. this write could be tightened up a bit by reducing some of the spacing between lines.

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Hey Cat. Thanks so much for yer kind words of support. And yer right of course, it could be tightened up a bit I guess. I only leave it like that to sometimes to heighten the meaning of one or two verses.

You know, leave them be stand-alone lines that enhance their meaning somewhat from the rest of the poem. That, and I copied and pasted and did not change them when I But I will now.

Great hearing from you my friend.

Take care.

author comment
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