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Face Down in the Stream...

I was stumbling to my destination
trying to find a way
In a fog and in desperation
hadn't written a thing in days

I was drunk with anticipation
teetered on the lip
Had some trouble with creation
then I had to go and slip

I was face down in the stream
trying hard to breathe
I thought sure it was a dream
when I saw the funeral wreath

The current tried to grab my soul
make excuses to my muse
said there were many stories
that we could surely use

But she is so independent
and she wouldn't steal
told the stream "Get bent"
I'll find one with great appeal

"I've got one!" my tinnitus said
and she listened carefully
She put the story in my head
and now this is what you see!

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
Sometimes, my tinnitus and my muse work together. They have collaborated frequently, making for some pretty fun and amusing pieces. ~ Geez. .
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

A feeling well known. Alex

and sometimes because I am missing a lot of the higher tones of speech, I hear a conversation differently. The one that inspired this, was that someone said, "I lost my place in the stream, I heard: "I was face down in the stream". ~ Geezer.
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Writing purely for oneself, is the ultimate in defensive posture.

author comment

to still see you floating down the stream
many try against it

Good poem compose one daily
Or you will be forgotten early
who will then push me ahead
soaring sky high
as you said a while ago
not days
but minutes ago
you alone know

have someone to push you. Even if I croak, I will appoint someone to push your buttons LoL
~ Geez.
.

Writing purely for oneself, is the ultimate in defensive posture.

author comment

lol GEEZZZZZZZZZZ

A creative take on your tinnitus..glad your muse was able to draw from it.

~RoseBlack~

She is pretty good with things like that. ~ Geez.
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Writing purely for oneself, is the ultimate in defensive posture.

author comment

Hello, Geezer,
Funny how we can relate to being face down in the stream (or lost in the stream). I like the way this starts with you and your muse stumbling, in a fog. It travels through the entire creativity process and then...bing! You're back on top! Sometimes we just need to tell whatever gets in the way to "Get bent!"
This made me smile.
L

a little more to do with "The Stream" as we call it here. As most of you know, I try hard to make comments and give critique to just about everyone that posts on the "Stream". If I am away for a day or so, and don't keep up, I find myself... F.D.I.T.Stream.
It can be a little overwhelming to try and get everything caught up. But my muse doesn't like to steal ideas from anyone, and
she feels like using the idea that someone else used first is like stealing. I'm glad that I made you smile. ~ Geez.
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Writing purely for oneself, is the ultimate in defensive posture.

author comment

This is great!

for the comment, believe it or not, even the comment like: This is great, means something to me. It means that I touched someone in some way and we communed on a level of some kind. Thank you. ~ Geezer.
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Writing purely for oneself, is the ultimate in defensive posture.

author comment

They are autonomous of each other. I am starting to regret never wearing ear protection. I’m still not wearing it though. At work I need to hear the guys. When I was playing gigs every weekend I needed to hear the guys. When I went to concerts I needed to hear the show.

I’m still ok with conversation if there isn’t a loud noise floor in the background. I cannot watch television without closed captioning, that is where I experience what you’re talking about. I haven’t a clue what they’re saying.

“If the world doesn’t fit, we make alterations.” From the film ‘Silverado’. Using your tinnitus as a source of inspiration is certainly that. Obviously amazing rhythm and all that stuff that comes with a structured poem. You practice the art regularly and I think it shows. Sorry about that persistent ringing though it’s bummer I’m also familiar with.

Tim

the ringing gets louder every day...and night, when there is absolute quiet is the worst! when I am not thinking about it, it doesn't bother me so much. I hope you are able to tune it out, too. great poem...you have a wonderful muse. I liked these lines:

The current tried to grab my soul
make excuses to my muse
said there were many stories
that we could surely use

(face down in the stream is great!)

hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

that it sometimes seems that it has always been there.
It started back when I was in my 20's and worked
at so many loud jobs. I never wore ear protection either.
Factories and chainsaws, wet-dry vaccuum cleaners that whined, concerts...
I am almost at the point of using captions myself. I am going to buy a set
of earphones so that I can watch without blasting everyone else's ears.
Thanks for sharing your experiences, you know what they say:
"Misery loves company." ~ Geez.
.

Writing purely for oneself, is the ultimate in defensive posture.

author comment

I feel like so much more than to this than just Tinnitus, I read that your grief has caused a Lil block. Of course we all have them. I have been quiet these last couple of days I've finally been crafting the poem for my Dad. Only time I had ringing in my ears? well you don't want to know about, I couldn't stand it all the time so I feel for you. Being a singer I can't imagine trying to sing with a constant ringing in my ears.

I can find nothing to fault. I did feel a sense of sadness flowing just in the background. Maybe it's just me.

I love your writing out of the block.

Love and higgliest bugs Sis x

"My head is broken but unbowed" - William Ernest Henley

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