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Everything I Have Lost
Everything I have lost
is piling up in front
of me.
My heart is broke
and it's all
because of me.
The tears that fall
from my eyes
won't get a second
glance.
For I am the one who
does these things
that truly make me
sad.
What have I done?
What do I do?
As I sit here writing
this poem to you.
For I have lost
everything
I have even lost you.
Tell the devil not to
worry that
he might see me
real soon.
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
Contest:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
RoseBlack
Thu, 2023-01-12 22:39
Internal reflection
Raw emotions as you look inside yourself, one of the hardest things to do. Well done! Glad you have found an outlet for your writing.
~RoseBlack~
Heather Perry
Thu, 2023-01-12 23:23
thank you
thank you for your comment
Heather Perry
author commentRosewood Apothecary
Fri, 2023-01-13 06:36
This is very raw and unbridled
I’m glad you found us. I hope you’re ok. Clearly you’re stating some very difficult emotions about mistakes or behavior pattens and having tremendous feelings of regret. I want you to hear this from a complete stranger: your worth isn’t defined by your past. The poem above is coming from such deep self awareness. That is where you need to look. That is your point of personal growth.
I’m just a stranger in world of 7 billion strangers but I’m here to tell you absolutely and unequivocally; you’ve got this. You’re super talented and I look forward to your next poem.
Hang in there,
Tim
Candlewitch
Fri, 2023-01-13 07:18
hello poet,
self-discovery is not always pleasant, but it is usually helpful, if you look at it constructively. you have pain in your poem. pain isn't always a bad thing...look at it as growing pains. Great piece of work!
*hugs, Cat
*
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