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Embers (repost) revised

Embers

I am changed...

inside,

where it matters.

my delicious secret

growing,

in the deepest

darkened part of me.

alive within

the tender start of me

a tiny ember

glowing...

this fragile

precious spark!

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
punctuation added.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Outstanding poem CW! One of the best I've seen on NP! I really enloyed this insightful description of the origin of inner change - well done!

I am changed
inside
where it matters

the tender start of me
a tiny ember
glowing...
this fragile
precious spark

- Brilliant open and close!

Michael Anthony

there are many things that can bring about this kind of change. thank you for recognizing my poem for what i is! i very much appreciate you.

*hugs, Cat

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author comment

Profound as can be. Spark indeed!

You nailed it,
Tim

P.S. really, really impressed with this one. Holy cow!

"and another one bites the dust"... thank you so much...that's two for two!

*warm hugs, Cat

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And responds, please be courteous
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author comment

But this reminds me of some lyrics from one of my songs entitled “Fine”

“Just yesterday I was divided in the dark
You know I kinda thought that I might be blind
That’s when it came to me, that’s when I watched it spark
I took one step and left that s**t behind.”

And I did, a few times, since I wrote that song 18 years ago.

You really grabbed at something deep here and it spoke volumes to me. What a super-duper poem.

Magic,
Tim

Magic indeed!

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

Certainly it's what we know about ourselves deep inside that makes us what we are man/woman how we evolve over time or in the form of an epiphany if we're on the wrong road a self destructive path due to an ancient pain a wound that never healed. Through your poetry you can try and in some small way heal the world. Thanks for sharing your gift hugs John :):):)

it is good for me to read your view on my poem. I'm glad that you don't think of me as some dewy-eyed girl in love with the moon and stars. I know I can always count on you for support.

*love, your friend, Cat

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author comment

I know your poems are never twee or dewyeyed I feel the pain beneath the words I'm sorry to say :):):)

thank you... I don't think I can find the words to tell you how much you mean to me.

*love, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

Please think about sharing this poem with us on All Poetry :):):)

it is time for me to quit the computer today. but I will post it tomorrow, my good friend.

*love, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

Even the tiniest change can bring about the most magical things! Wonderful write :)

Join in our collaborative poem workshop. Each member will have a chance to write two stanzas at least four lines each. The stanzas must be relative to the poem.

I knew I could count on you for understanding,

*hugs, Cat

-

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

HI! I am new here. I need friends:)
I really like this. It is the kind of writing that instantly invokes an image in my mind, in this case the tiny ember of course. Keep smouldering until you are on fire!

Welcome to Neopoet! We are glad to have you aboard. Have you had the opportunity to visit our contests page as well as our Stream?

Join in our collaborative poem workshop. Each member will have a chance to write two stanzas at least four lines each. The stanzas must be relative to the poem.

it is very nice to meet you! I hope to red your poetry too! see ya around the site.

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

You write well. Really.

Is this a new poem?

I'd like to see this in a stanza form you choose, rather than a blank line in between every written line.
IMHO, this would make your expression more powerful.

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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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I just added punctuation to the poem. thank you for the compliment. I know you are very choosy about giving them out, which makes it very special.

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment
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