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(eddy styx and Dan Watts) Lady Pain lyrics
Lady Pain
by: eddy styx and Dan Watts
wild horses
couldn’t stop her
from ruining her life.
She was hell bent
on destruction
and all her
shuddering denial
denied her intentions
of exposing her
tender pink
silk and satin
underbelly
and all her
feminine frills
like tea and crumpets
she needs her fix
of love and pain
laced with daily
humiliation.
*chorus
Wild horses pull and drag with ropes of razor wire
Muscles forced tight and the pain burns like fire
She grimaces in an ecstasy of her final destruction
Stoking her inner embers with a spasm of seduction
Wild horses drag and pull with barbs of twisted wire
Limbs drawn taught but the agony won’t purify her
She screams out in her moment of sexual abduction
Releasing her flame in an orgasm of perfect corruption
She knew she could
never go home again,
because the pain
was so delicious
oh how much
she loved
the chilling rain
like a shot of
liquid barbed wire
shooting through her veins
and wild horses
couldn’t stop her…
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words:
*lyrics
Editing stage:
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Northwestern Wisconsin USA
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Edgar Allan Poe, William Blake, Bob Dylan, Tom Petty, Carlos Castaneda and many more.
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Comments
lou
Wed, 2010-12-15 09:50
Perfect and Perverted
Dan and Eddy,
I love every perverted and sadistic bit of this one. Deliciously twisted.
Lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
Hooded Stranger
Wed, 2010-12-15 10:42
Lou
this was a great perverted write by Cat, and I couldn't help but add a chorus.
Deliciously twisted - I like that!
HS
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.
Candlewitch
Thu, 2010-12-16 08:11
Hi Lou!
Thanks for the kudos! I knew you would be one to appreciate this write!
love, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentPsyve
Wed, 2010-12-15 10:24
Eddy and Dan
Twisted... in more ways than one.
Nicely done.
Stylistically this was interesting, as the chorus and the verses felt HARMONIOUS yet...very DIFFERENT: almost as if two different people had worked on them.The two Verses feel to me more like a poet's approach and the Chorus definitely feels like its been written with music in mind... it flows differently.
Enjoyed this
Psyve
Hooded Stranger
Wed, 2010-12-15 10:44
Psyve
Psyve,
I am so pleased you felt the verses and the chorus were harmonious. It is difficult when two writers with different styles create one piece.
You are so right. The verses are done by the poet and the chorus by the not so poetic!
Glad you enjoyed it,
HS
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.
Psyve
Thu, 2010-12-16 05:52
HS
I thought it might be you who did the chorus.
Good teamwork, guys.
Does this actually translate into a song that we might be able to hear at some point of time?
Psyve
Hooded Stranger
Thu, 2010-12-16 09:20
Psyve
Psyve,
this may well become a song. Currently I am working gard to finish off our album, but after that, this one may go through the Systema Synthetica cycle and become a fully recorded, mixed and mastered track.
I'll keep ya posted,
thanks again,
HS
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.
Candlewitch
Thu, 2010-12-16 08:18
Dear Psyve,
Dan wrote the chorus and what a fine job he did of it, too. Glad to have your discerning eye here to read and give your opinion. It is up to Dan to write the music, and he has my full confidence in his ability.
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentEduardo Cruz
Wed, 2010-12-15 11:00
Cat
this is so sad, that something in her life has driven her to self destruction. there are so many things here open to Interpretation. the why is the biggest question to me. why she could not go home, was pain truly an outlet from the horrors of her pass.
well i'm starting to ramble..this is by far my favorite piece of yours and a song to boot. wow girl your fucking good at what you do, Sorry I just had to say it.
Always Eddie
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
Candlewitch
Thu, 2010-12-16 08:28
Dear Eddie,
I'm glad you liked this piece. Dan, (Hooded Stranger) played a large part in this set of lyrics, as he wrote the chorus. I actually knew a woman like this. I watched her self-destruct on drugs over a period of time. Many people, including me, tried to intervene, but to no avail. Dan has captured her with great precision. It makes me wonder if he knew someone like her. If you enjoyed this piece I'm sure you would enjoy all of Hooded Stranger's work.
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentHooded Stranger
Thu, 2010-12-16 09:22
Cat
Cat,
you're giving me way too much credit for this...we have to remember my chorus was only written after you had created such an awesome poem, without that, no chorus would have been written.
I do/did know somebody similar to the character in your poem, which made my write much easier to complete.
Love,
HS
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.
Bonitaj
Wed, 2010-12-15 14:36
Cat!
This is one I recall seeing in the past - I commented then and I shall reiterate now... I love the genre and the psychopathology that goes with it! You have captured that really well here... someday I'll refer you to my professional web page and enlighten you further!
Good write
Boni
Bonitaj
Candlewitch
Thu, 2010-12-16 08:52
Dear Boni,
I'd like that! Thanks for reading again, lol. Since my little experience with death, I am having a hard time with short term memories due to the drugs that I was given at the hospital. So I didn't remember if I had posted this one or not. Dan is greatly responsible for the intensity of this one. Thanks for reading and don't forget to give me your personal webpage.
love, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentziggy
Wed, 2010-12-15 18:39
hi
hi wow this is my first read in ages here as my computer died lol
and what a write its fantastic i cant pick any fav lines on my first read
ill have to return for another feast ,,,,,,,,,,zigs x
I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.
Candlewitch
Thu, 2010-12-16 08:54
Dear Ziggy,
It is soooo good to have you back! Thanks for reading.
love, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentHooded Stranger
Thu, 2010-12-16 09:23
Ziggy!
Ziggy,
you're back!...damn! I missed you.
Will email you later regarding www.hoodedstranger.com
regards and thanks for commenting on this piece,
HS
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.
Candlewitch
Thu, 2010-12-16 09:00
Dear Shirl,
It is great to hear from you, especially at this busy time of year! I'm so glad you enjoyed the write. It is a wonderful thing to have readers such as yourself.
love, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentHooded Stranger
Thu, 2010-12-16 09:25
Shirl
Shirl,
glad you liked this piece.
I waited in at home all last week with coffee ready awaiting your visit...I was sure you were coming to England simply to see me!!
Lol!
regards,
HS
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.