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Early Morning in Yosemite

Submitted by Michael Anthony on Wed, 2022-11-23 11:36

Experimenting, we placed the moon
on various branches of the pines
while the morning was still very new

We considered the jealous stars above,
those not ready to depart the dawn
Amidst the chill of the Autumn air
they were invited to join us here
in our temple among the trees

Style / type:

Free verse

Review Request (Intensity):

I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Review Request (Direction):

What did you think of my title?

What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?

How does this theme appeal to you?

How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Last few words:

One of the most beautiful places on the planet. My muse for this write.

Editing stage:

Editing - polished draft

Contest:

Neopoem Of The Week Contest November 20th to 26th 2022

Content level:

Not Explicit Content

Comments

Geezer

Wed, 2022-11-23 20:45

I've seen...

the scene of the jealous stars; sitting in the bare branches of trees, next to a silver moon, which is too elegant for the company of such little twinkles. Nice job! ~ Geezer.
.

This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place

Michael Anthony

Sun, 2022-11-27 12:24