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The Dreamlife of Miss Josefine K.
A glance upon those glassy eyes
The eyes that delve
Beneath the deep vision of things
A soul
Citizen of a land
Where the spirit is exiled
A drop of light
Within a pearl of rain
Caught perfectly by the living camera
The eye of Miss Josefine K.
2
The traces of Love’s vagaries
The gentle lines
About your throat
The tender jutting of your lips
Your soft breasts
The vale of Aphrodite
Beneath the flesh white blouse
Scent of a forest
That is imagined
Tousled Jewess coiffure
Of one taught
By blind innocence not to question
3
The city is your mother
Mistress of the thousand android faces
Weeping virgin of the Vltava
Impossible creature
Virgin/Lover
I will take to the skies for you
An eagle upon the monstrous heights
Review Request (Intensity):
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What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
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Comments
Seren
Fri, 2023-02-24 11:53
Dearest John
Gasp whoever she is she's like a goddess in word, I am so taken with this poem I lost count of how many times I read it!
You have such a way with words it's not of this earth.
love Jayne x
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
Dalton
Fri, 2023-02-24 16:34
Dearest Jayne
Have submitted a companion piece “Rebellious Miss Josefine K.” tonight if you could read. Of course there is an odd part that maybe needs editing you may realise once having read advice as always accepted with an open heart regards John :)
author commentDalton
Fri, 2023-02-24 14:25
Dearest Jayne
Thanks so much I wasn’t sure anyone liked this one but I’m pleased it spoke to you it’s an edit and sometimes I think it’s wrong to edit as to censor oneself is a form of self betrayal. But I understand that real poets have performed such duties even my favourite TS Eliot in his masterpiece The Waste Land underwent massive edits to form the ultimate perfect work of art. I hope my poem is finished now. Again mixing thoughts on a female Josef K. but I don’t know what it really has to do with Kafka other than his fascination for transformation what I’d love to perfect would be his excellent gift for attention to very minor details not just the materials of absurdity. I’m sure I’ll write a companion piece or maybe it’s best left alone. Thanks again for your sweet attention to my work hugs John :)
author commentEmerald1
Sat, 2023-02-25 02:42
Love it
Dearest John
Love this piece another with a touch of Kafka I believe where elements of reality and fantasy converge
A lover dreams of Josephine K and wonders if they would recognise each other in the imagined city of robotic faces
Her eyes having vision beyond the depths her soul a citizen of this strange place , the image of a drop of rain caught in her camera eye the living camera in this strange robotic world in this unnamed place is a beautiful image
Then you take the piece to the sensual description of your dream Ms Josephine would she be recognisable by the things he remembers , the lines on her throat that I know have been mentioned in another poem Aphrodites Necklace as a description of the alluring lines on a womans neck comes to mind and I know that the neck is an alluring feature for this lover ,the jutting of the lips a natural pout perhaps rather than a more seductive contrived act .The sensuality you give to the description is delightful you arouse the senses of sight and scent with the breast reference and your detail like not just a tousled coiffure but a tousled Jewish coiffure give the description depth, a kind of innocence is portrayed in your descriptions of this alluring woman that is dreamt of .
The unnamed city of the imagination is given some of the attributes and physical features of Prague and is the mother of all its people even though a weeping river herself .I know the city is somewhat like the unreachable castle in kafkas writing
You then offer to do the impossible for this virgin lover and in what I imagine is a nod to Kafkas Metamosphoses to sprout wings and take to the sky for her and commune with her in every realm you say it would be a coming together of human and divinity as ever your respect for and credit given to females in your poetry is again evident here giving her god like qualities ,,one can imagine souls melding and each becoming a second skin of the other as they make love that as he drinks in her impossible beauty he is sustained through the remainder of the impossible night which I might assume is a longer period than one night
I hope I have done this exquisite piece of art justice , your heart soul and talent meld to give us delight after delight , I love the fantasy and the sensual elements of this piece with its creative narrative and sublime imagery , I can float away on your words .As ever love rules as your unfaltering believe in its power makes things happen for lovers and the world was made for lovers .The fact you through your given talent , sensitive heart and soul and real sense of justice and belief in love share these things with us makes us privileged indeed in my opinion ,thank you for the experience of this poem , to read your poetry is so much more than just reading it is a full blown experience that enthrals and captivates
Thanks as ever for writing this piece and sharing
Your writing is awesome my poet extraordinaire
Usual edit etc offer applies
Thanks J my most precious friend
Love Mar xxx