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Downward Spiral

When the tough get tired
And the strong feel weak
When the tears won't stop
And the heart's misfired

Downward spiral
From archangels to enemies
One by one, we fall into the abyss
And hearts missed a beat

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Downward Spiral" captures the despair and hopelessness that can come with feeling overwhelmed and defeated. The use of imagery, such as "archangels to enemies," effectively conveys the drastic shift in perspective that can occur when one is struggling. The repetition of "downward spiral" reinforces the sense of a continuous descent into darkness.

However, the poem could benefit from more varied language and stronger metaphors to fully capture the complexity of the emotions being expressed. The line "Beaten down, it's hit or miss" feels somewhat clichéd and could be replaced with a more specific and evocative image.

Suggested line edit: "Beaten down, we tumble like stones into the chasm."

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to

Love this a lot.
One minor edit.. In the last line of the 1st stanza, I would have put "And heart' missed a beat"

I think it sounds smoother.
Just my opinion though.

The poem really speaks to the chaos we are swing in the world right now.
Well penned

Thank you for the suggestion. I like the way that sounds as well.I will make the change.


author comment

you draw upon that swirling dark place of emotions which flows freely from a broken heart and an intelligent mind. I love your imagery, as it speaks to me of loneliness and patience which has been strained to the limit.

*love, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

You hit the nail on the head. I keep telling myself better things are on the horizon.


author comment

The riptide of emotions that this piece draws forth is overwhelming. "One by one, we fall into the abyss". What a beautiful way to express what seems to be the futile and last gasp, then surrender, after being beaten down to nothing. "And hearts missed a beat" is the pause that, with the next beat, brings the courage to take the next step. Each beat keeps us going; keeps hope alive.

I think this is one of the best I've read of your poetry.


For the high praise, Steve. I have definitely been going through the emotions lately and this is the result. Thank you.


author comment
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