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Deja vue...
There, there it is again
A place in time, I'd touched before
Where, where in when, I'd been again?
I reached for it, trying to touch once more
Just out of my grasp, the feeling swayed
None else it could have been
The thought, indeed that it was played
But, I didn't know it then.
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Editing stage:
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Comments
Rula
Sat, 2018-09-08 15:39
Hello Geezer
This reads just like a dream or a dreamy feeling.
I especially liked this line:
"Just out of my grasp, the feeling swayed"
I always wonder why do poets choose a french title for an English piece. Just saying.
Thank you for sharing
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Geezer
Sat, 2018-09-08 17:09
Thank you...
I was trying to describe the feeling of Deja vue ! I don't know that there is another word for, or words that describe the situation. I will think upon the idea and mayhap come up with a new title in English. ~ Geezer.
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Rula
Sun, 2018-09-09 02:22
I understand
thank you for explaining
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lovedly
Sun, 2018-09-09 13:05
Deja vue is French word with NO Equivalence
means the same in all languages
Psychology
the feeling that one has had an experience previously, although it is actually new to one
2.
a feeling that one has been in a place or had a specific experience before
so your poetry is abs unique
Deja vue(ish)
great Gee
Geezer
Sun, 2018-09-09 16:56
Thank you...
for your comment and praise of my poem. ~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
raj
Sun, 2018-09-09 14:00
Hi Geezer
good theme in this short write...
............................................................
raj (sublime_ocean)
Geezer
Sun, 2018-09-09 16:57
Thanks...
raj, glad you like it! ~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
weirdelf
Mon, 2018-10-08 15:50
This is bloody gorgeous word-crafting, mate
the tone, feel, reach... that tantalising untouchability of the sensation.
You've caught it perfectly.
I couldn't resist a little reading, I hope my Aussie accent doesn't harm it.
https://soundcloud.com/neopoet/deja-vue-by-guy-geezer-caswell-1
May I post this gem to our Facebook page?
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Geezer
Wed, 2018-10-10 20:15
Thanks, my Aussie Bro...
Actually, you are way too kind. I merely managed to get what I was feeling into the script. Your accent is just right for this. Gave me a bit of a chill hearing it in that Aussie/British tone. It so much reminded me of "A Clockwork Orange" or perhaps a scene from "The Wall" I like the echoing sound of the whole thing. Yes, yes, post it, if you will! ~ Gee.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
weirdelf
Wed, 2018-10-10 20:39
Don't bullshit me, you know I am never too kind.
But glad you like the reading, interesting comparisons. As in America Aussie has several different accents. From broad Aussie through city to countrified and bourgeois, I guess mine is the latter.
Posted on Facebook.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Geezer
Wed, 2018-10-10 21:19
Going to...
laugh out loud on that one! Yes, you can be a ... well, you know. But, thank you for the praise anyhow. ~ Gee.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.