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D.E.C.E.M.B.E.R
During this late time of year
Everything both far and near
Carries scars of frost and freeze
Even frostbite from cold breeze
Most if not all leaves are shed
Blown from trees to forest bed
Evening sunshine brings no heat
Rains too often turn to sleet
* haven't seen an acrostic for a while
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage:
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Comments
the_fool
Wed, 2011-12-21 23:50
neat
and interesting. the last line seemed disconnected to me. lines 2 and 4 could use a couple commas.
ut i could be wrong. i haven't seen an acrostic in a while either. last one i saw, i think, was at a motivational thing. cool experiment, tho.
keep 'em coming!
scribbler
Thu, 2011-12-22 12:14
hi fool
Yeah that last line needs work to keep it from being stretched to rhyme (I like to rhyme my few acrostics even though it isn't required) Thanks for the visit and suggestion...........stan
author commentweirdelf
Thu, 2011-12-22 17:14
This fulfills the first requirement of a good acrostic
that you don't noticed it's an acrostic. I would not, excuse the pun, spell it out with the title. In fact I would make no mention of acrostics and see if your readers notice.
Very well done with what is possibly my least favourite form.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
scribbler
Thu, 2011-12-22 17:50
hi Jess
Thank you. I'll probably leave title as is though. I know it aggravates Me to read a poem only to have to be told it's an acrostic lol............stan
author comment