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Dear mom,

I’m afraid to tell you that I love you
and I am so afraid to let you go.

I’m afraid to tell you how it killed me inside
when you invited
my abuser
to lunch.
You knew what he did to me.

I’m afraid to tell you
about the struggles,
the pain, the trauma
I’ve been through
because you caused it all.

I’m afraid to tell you that
you don’t love me.
You believe that you do
and I don’t have the energy to argue.

I’m afraid to tell you
how much I crave your love.
I just want to know
what it feels like.

I’m afraid to tell you
I want to leave.
I want to leave you behind
for the rest of my life
and never look back.

Here’s the real problem,
even if I get over this fear,
even if I tell you,
you won’t care.
You won't ever change.
And I can’t tell you that
I love you anyway.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Read it again, slower this time.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

in every stanza. Well written and well expressed. Good job!

.

~RoseBlack~

Thanks so much :)

author comment

the anguish of every word! The desperation of wanting a mother's love! The belief that she thinks she loves you, but the knowledge that she doesn't understand what she has done to you. My heart aches for you and all the other women out there, who feel unloved and forgotten. A very heartrending tale, that happens all the time. I hope that someday, you will find peace about this thing. Your poem is an exceedingly well written tale. ~ Geezer.
.

Writing purely for oneself, is the ultimate in defensive posture.

Thank you so much! I wouldn't say I have peace about this situation yet, but I am healing and it is truly a great feeling.

author comment

Rhythmic expression and structure are good.
Dear poet, I admire you.
.

"Time will crush on us if we don't utilize it. Just remember, you're an element of time".

~Jackweb

Thanks so much! :)

author comment
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