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Dear Jess

Your critique was as sandpaper.
smoothing my poetry's jagged edges
so that they might emerge better than ever;
In your ruthlessness, I saw true kindness.

You laid my valued works in your furnace,
though its raging flame burned my fame,
but each came out purer, more of a masterpiece;
mending my scorched glory and fixing my shame.

They have been tempered, and now shine like gold;
and your splendorous unquenchable light,
of nobility will always be my foothold
on my pathway to the literary height

You were as a real adversary
while polishing my artistry.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

my take on your poem, I'm not sure how Jess would have done it, but here goes.

Your critique was as sandpaper
smoothing my poetry's jagged edges
so that they might emerge better than ever
In your ruthlessness, I saw true kindness

You laid my valued work in your furnace
and though its' raging flame burned my fame
each came out purer, more of a masterpiece
mending my scorched glory and fixing my shame

They have been tempered, and now shine as gold
with a splendorous and unquenchable light
of nobility and blissfulness
I have basked in the realm of a rare light

You were as a real adversary
while polishing my artistry.

I chose to rewrite some of this as I thought that Jess might have instructed you to
sorry if I failed in any way. ~ Geezer.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

Thank you, Geezer, I appreciate your critique . Jess will be greatly missed.

author comment

dedicated to Jess which will likely have him rolling in his grave. But your poem is a good one in my estimation

Thank you so much, Scribbler. I so much appreciate your feedback.

author comment

can now never know

Compose more
as you have learned
bless Jess
should be your goal

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