Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Daddy's Home! (a memory)

She hears the ding of
the elevator in the hall,
waiting to see the
apartment door open.
In he walks, putting
hat and coat on the rack
scooping her into his arms,
as she gasps and giggles.
Making sounds like an airplane
he swings her around as
her surprised whoops fill the air.
Her favorite time of day...
when Daddy comes home!

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

scene! Makes me wish that my boys were small and young enough to pick up and swing around, making airplane noises.
~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

I loved him and thought he hung the moon! a little girls hero! I bet you have some fond memories of your boys from when they were young.

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

These are moments to remember how absolutely beautiful to have these good memories. I am sure this is a memory I'd draw on if ever I was going through a hard time.

I can't see anything I'd change I think it's a personal poem and sometimes poems like these should be left alone to be just what they are, priceless memories.

It's a wonderful poem. Brava!

Love you always Lilbit.xox

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

thank you for reading and your lovely comment. this memory is very special to me. I dust it off on those occasions when I feel lost and alone. it helps greatly.

*love, siscat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

Hi, Cat,
A precious poem, and a very sweet memory. I have very much the same, as my Dad came home the same time every day to a similar greeting. I always enjoy your happy childhood memories about your father.
L

I am so glad that you have similar memories of your Dad. I also had people who tried to sully those memories. but he was so high above them that they had not a prayer of doing so ;)

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

even when daddy
is no more
mostly was at war
no not battle
but with all
yet at home he loved all
wish I had been your daddy's
best wish

I wish that everyone could claim to have had a daddy like mine... thank you for reading and responding wishing you all the best.

*love, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

;)

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.