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Crush

Submitted by Ekaterina Alexa... on Sun, 2023-02-26 23:00

My thoughts are all scrambled
and my head is a blur
Think I forgot how to speak
Can barely manage a slur
Muddleplut, slitty sloonter,
blippity blem
Oh golly gosh!
What was I saying again???

My heart’s beating faster
Than it normally does
I got distracted this morning
Feeling all spacey and buzzed
Brushed my fair with a hork,
Wore my dress inside out
Took me almost three hours
Just to figure that out

For some peculiar reason
I’ve lost my control and routine
My keys ended up in
The mashing wachine!
How do I fix this?
Oh please get me out of this mess!
What was the point of this poem?
Nevermind……. I digress

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Just a silly, goofy lighthearted one to start the week. I am in a really good mood today! Happy Monday everyone- hope you enjoy some spoonerisms and neologisms Xxx
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

lovedly

Mon, 2023-02-27 03:34

lovedly's picture

will make so many blush lol

Ekaterina Alexa...

Mon, 2023-02-27 04:11

Ekaterina Alexandrovna Sherbatskaya's picture

Exactly right!

author comment

lovedly

Mon, 2023-02-27 05:12

lovedly's picture

I want to be a celebrity
why
coz I'm so lonely

read as posted .....will ye

Ekaterina Alexa...

Mon, 2023-02-27 20:33

Ekaterina Alexandrovna Sherbatskaya's picture

Hi Lovedly- I read your celebrity poem. Well done Xxx

author comment

RoseBlack

Mon, 2023-02-27 07:55

RoseBlack's picture
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A fun read on a Monday morning! Certainly captures all the feelings that go with a prospective new love. Great job!

~RoseBlack~

Ekaterina Alexa...

Mon, 2023-02-27 20:34

Ekaterina Alexandrovna Sherbatskaya's picture

Thank you for reading and for your lovely comment!

author comment

Geezer

Mon, 2023-02-27 09:36

Geezer's picture
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succeeded in making this morning a great start! Second great, funny piece of work I have read this morning. Nice to see you in such a good mood. I sincerely hope that it stays that way. Nothing here that I would change. ~ Geezer.
.

This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place

Ekaterina Alexa...

Mon, 2023-02-27 20:35

Ekaterina Alexandrovna Sherbatskaya's picture

Thanks for reading and commenting. Your words are much appreciated Xxx

author comment

Seren

Wed, 2023-03-01 11:13

Seren's picture

A very different kind of poem from you I really liked the silliness depicted in the euphoria of a carefree giddy day.

I really enjoyed this one!!

Jayne xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

Candlewitch

Thu, 2023-03-02 08:26

Candlewitch's picture
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you really made me laugh! this a great poem for humor!
my favorite lines are:

For some peculiar reason
I’ve lost my control and routine
My keys ended up in
The mashing wachine!

* love, Cat

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