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CROWN OF THORNS

Late night memories descend
upon my aging head
like coils of briers with no end
keeping me from sleep and bed.

Visions haunt of all my wrongs
through all the scores of years.
They overpower favorite songs
leaving just regrets and tears.

When all the misdeeds are counted
yet another thorn is left :
the list of all the hills I've mounted
having once more been bereft.

So here I sit alone at night
as those I know so slowly leave
wondering if one day there might
be no one left behind to grieve.

And as I attempt not to weep
and to rest a bit before the morn
I've learned why old men seldom sleep,
it's pain from crowns made out of thorn.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Very deep & rich
I was taken back cause I thought it was about my blessed Lord.
Yet realizing that we can all possess a crown of thorns.
It doesn't have to be directed to a spiritual experience.
My eyes are open and so are my senses.
I wouldn't change anything about this piece it comes straight from your heart.
Thank you for sharing it had a deep rich aura intact.

Mario Vitale

Thank you. It's always good to see somebody fairly new to site show up on my page...........as to changes, I almost always edit my stuff over time but it's kind of you to say none are needed lol.........stan

author comment

easy to read your flow is flowing [ I mean I can read the music in your words ] glad to see something like this each line was a lead into the next line

Thank you. I always strive to have good scansion and to avoid abrupt changes in message..........stan

author comment

I'd suggest the only thing "great" about me is my size lmao.But thanks for the compliment..........stan

author comment

but offer no critique. Once started I would not know where to stop.

Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines

LOL. I always welcome honest thought and am fully aware that this write needs a bit more work. Thanks for the visit.............stan

author comment

I can't believe I wrote something that harsh but am truly relieved that you took it in such a kindly way. Sometimes with my physical problems pressing, I should have enough sense to keep fingers away from the keyboard.

Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines

Truth offered in a constructive manner is always welcome and I didn't consider your comment harsh...........stan

author comment

shouldn't over power be one word?

Alid

I will check on that and change if needed. Good to have you drop by............stan

author comment

time like weeping rains fade
and let lend the chide of green
to the vivid scars we hastly
hewed
beneath the scald of futures
hue...

old men no sleep
yo yo the ghosts
be knocking
throw on some jam
get the neighbours
knocking

regrets Ive had a few
..shut up and sing
Frank...

ah....powerful tome
this poem of emotional
tone
so close to the truth
of the bone..

but a personal feeling
poem...deep emotion
and yet scarely overburdened
as plucky as Manchester...
oy
pretty much sums it up
the aging process and how
our biorobot processor gets
the action on the alpha and
beta waves...never never
or dreamtime mate
she never dissapoints
she never lets go that shelagh
def not a dull moment

just waking up from the doozey
of dreams of late..
forecasting...abstract
give us a head up on what
down the trail

excellent poem

thank U

writing like this make
me feel not alone
but the existance
and experience
of that long route
where much was made
of thought in haste
and godspeed

...

I'm pleased you enjoyed this and appreciate your visiting...............stan

author comment

A great piece of writing, fear not the dawn, as you may still be awake.
Come on wake up properly you have been on a journey that still stretches way ahead of you.
This journey is for you to learn and from your tears the learning has been done.
In the heart of a man that is true to all around, are many tears, they build up until they burst out sometimes at the most silly time excused now and then by the effects of a cool breeze or a particle of dust encroaching on you vision.
That you cry, is for a memory, these I have many also, now new ones of people in this world hurting others, where the children I know are kept busy, I cry.
My sleep times now are around 5 hours a day so you are not alone.
Take care and know that you are blessed to be able to cry,
Yours Ian..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

Indeed I expect all people have regrets who have lived beyond childhood. The farther beyond the more they pile up lol............stan

author comment

Oh those late night sleepless nights! How those thoughts torture us, both because of our own misdeeds or fear of the future - This is a sad poem but pragmatic and honest - It has a good flow and rhyme - and it's very relatable to us older folks.

Thanks for sharing Stan :) always a pleasure to read your work!

Love Mand xxx

Older folks..................but you are only 39 ( I hear you have claimed so for years now lol). I can't even Recall 39........................stan

author comment

old men sleep less

as they do less physical work
and
don't get tired
brain says
get up do some work

I often sleep for two evening hours five to seven
go to bed at midnite plus minus
then at 2 am eyes wide open
I stare into the cob webbed ghostly not ghastly ceiling

then something within me says
wake up man
the day has dawned
yes it's only 3am
and I yawn
till actual dawn is born

the as the sun peeks into my bedroom
I shut my eyes and sleep

Now I know sun is keeping vigil over me
then at 12 PM non
have bed tea

another work-less day begins
my spouse only grins

Even following days of hard work this old coot sleeps far less than in younger days. But better a few hours than that endless sleep which faces us all lol..........stan

author comment

Share with me
just sleep
LOL
not that

try to sleep at least
8 hours
if in tranches
a must
I have by my experience
learnt

less stress
less medicine
more meditation
reduce mental aberration
be friendly smile an hour daly
laugh hautily
some may ask
are you okay
say why aren't you

The shut up call
as in cards game
they call
BRIDGE

the 1st whippoorwill of spring serenade me to sleep last night...............stan

author comment

In my case there is an exception. The only thing I have in common with Margaret Thatcher (apart from breathing the same air) is that I have never needed much sleep. Four hours being a long night for me.

Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines

try to sleep at least
8 hours
if in tranches
a must
I have by my experience
learnt

Always good to see somebody new show up on my page. I think I agree with leaving out "the" and will proceed in doing so. Appreciate your visit as well as suggestion...........stan

author comment

idea of how to make this better. Maybe I should sleep on it! LOL. Been having some strange dreams and fits of self-recrimination myself these days. I guess that is the price we pay for having lived all these years. Don't want to encourage you to write more like this, I'm having enough trouble with sleeping now. ~ Gee.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

The more we age the more mistakes we have to remember lol. But hopefully we also accrue good memories to at least balance them out lol. I'll post something today about a better recollection so as to ease your night ..............stan.............if I can find the darned thing lol.............

author comment

to Sep /Oct 2018
you were
top man
then had the operation
how could you sleep so well

See I am jobless
sleep 14 hours
keeps me busy
as I totally have bed rest

but pension they can't payless
so I go along with my spouse to a shoe store
they call
PAYLESS

after all..
he earns much more

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