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Crowbar

Submitted by Depressed 1 on Fri, 2023-01-20 07:43

I am going to take a crowbar hit my head

Keep hitting it until I feel like I am dead

Going to hit my knees until they are gone

Hurt less than staying in the dark alone

I will take a drill and drill in my head deep

Until all of my brains out of my skull seep

Take my fingers and pluck out my eyes

So I no longer can gaze upon all your lies

Going to take a chainsaw cut off my arms

So I can no longer hold close what harms

Instead of being forever re-membered

I will be forgotten and dismembered

Review Request (Intensity): 
Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Geezer

Fri, 2023-01-20 11:17

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right out there, putting it squarely in the face of people who should be concerned. Unfortunately, people who do not face these problems, do not understand them. It is not that they don't care, it's just according to reason, they just aren't understandable; it is like putting two pairs of anything on the table in front of someone, showing without a doubt that they make four, but another insisting that they do not.
Your poetry is pretty good, you leave a little room for a little humor in the last lines with a sort of pun. While I like the work, I am not too happy about the subject matter. I hope that these feelings pass, and tomorrow is a better day. ~ Geezer.
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Depressed 1

Sat, 2023-01-21 01:56

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Thanks Geezer. You know what they say about a silver lining and clouds. Over every silver lining is a dark ominous cloud.

https://www.artofelpaso.com/

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Depressed 1

Sat, 2023-01-21 01:57

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Thanks Kat.

https://www.artofelpaso.com/

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RoseBlack

Sat, 2023-01-21 12:21

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While the subject content is heavy and I surely hope these feelings come to pass and you are able to find your silver lining, I relate and find your poems to be honest and well constructed. Please don't hesitate to reach out if you need an impartial party to listen. We are glad you are still with us.

~RoseBlack~

Depressed 1

Sun, 2023-01-22 07:22

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Thanks RoseBlack I appreciate it.

https://www.artofelpaso.com/

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