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The Crow (eddy styx) updated

The Crow

Lonely pines covered in snow
Tremble under moonlight’s glow
Anticipating high drama
As the wind doth blow

Singular black crow
Perched on branch below
Fluttering feathered wings
Although his movement slow

Taking to grey skies that grow
In solid winter’s throes
No screech of complaint
For gale or frozen woe

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
experimenting with mixing meter
Editing stage: 

Comments

The image contrast between black crow and white snow is vivid.In L-8 you might try movement's instead of movement and in next line you use blow a second time which I don't think is what you planned..........stan

Thnak you for the suggestions of which I have employed some...with the "blow problem" I hope it reads better for you now. I appreciate your reading and critiquing!

always, Cat

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author comment

winter cannot "blow"(well yeah it can but that is something else again)lol
somehow the last line came across as being to flipant( it could be me)
for cold and frozen talons perhaps

Chrys
Let your mercy spill on all these burning hearts in hell(Leonard Cohen)

I appreciate your input (and winter sucks, lol!) I hope I have fixed those problems with my update.

love, Cat

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author comment

I kept thinking this reminded me of something so I looked around and found what it was :
SNOW DUST
The way a crow
shook down on me
the dust of snow
from a hemlock tree

Has given my heart
a change of mood
and changed some part
of a day I had rued.........................Frost

That I could remind you of something Frost wrote is tltally amazing! Thanks :)

always, cat (& eddy)

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author comment

I read this poem over and over again and it makes so much meaning and ignites my interest to read it again.
>>>The Crow against the Winters throes. Yet it does not complain.
we can positively relate to harshness of nature without necessary having to rebel.
great write. wont forget this one.

respects.

WonderGolly :)

respects.

WonderGolly

What I love most about POETS is how they write SADNESS with SUNSHINE on their face, caption RAIN with FALLEN EMBERS and paint TEARS using the colours of WATERFALLS:lol

Thank you so very much for reading and sharing weith me your empressions! I appreciate it greatly!

always, Cat

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author comment

Something about this one was too....well toooooo.
Oh just not happy about this one. Ann.

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

This one was probably just a little to hopeless for your tastes :( but thanks for reading and commenting.

always, eddy (& cat)

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