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Cow

Cow

There is a cow up ahead on the road carrying a heavy load

Please give her a hand; she is trying to reach the promised land

She wants to take her milk to the honey, where it is always sunny

She cannot do it by herself, and you are the only one left

To help carry her load on down that long, long road

If her load you will help bear when you finally get there

They will let you come inside; you will not be denied

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Last few words: 
These words just came to me
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

criticism here, is that cows are usually the female definitive of an animal, yet you refer to it as being a male. If it is male, it does not give milk. If indeed, it is a female cow, you should change the language to read as [her]. ~Geezer.
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Thanks Geezer

author comment

If you're milking a male cow
I'd hazard a guess it has a big grin
and a far away look in his eye.

Easily fixable mistake, the sentiment behind your piece is laudable
and worth the effort!

Obi.

That's a cow of a different....gender?

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...so like my lost dreams...the flood

I think, that's a metaphorical word.
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"Poetic license
gives
the poets
the free will to
embroider a good tale
and deviate from the established rules of language"~Jackweb

to represent our fellow human. If we see someone carrying a heavy load (physical or emotional), stop and lend a hand. We never know what someone else is going through and a shoulder to lean on or a set of helping hands may be much needed and appreciated. Good write.

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Thanks Rose. That is exactly right.

author comment

I agree with Rose plus I liked the internal rhyme

Thanks Scribbler

author comment
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